TV Life Japan, I like :D So, crazy JE fangirls should always always visit jesummary on livejournal. It helps, plentiful.
I stared out of the window while coming to school. Exhuastion. Even I myself know that I'm getting sick of daily routines, I don't have the drive to go on. A break would be good. A break would be great. A bit of resentment creeps into my mind, Too little of the things I desire, do I possess. Resentment of life? Pish posh, what rubbish. Resentment.
YAMA.PI DATES A PORN STAR. (according to my ever-trustful sister) wtf? My heart just broke for a second. A second. I don't care if he dates some girl like Maki or whatever, but a porn star! Okok, calm down. Like, different people have different ethics. I would scream and rip my Arashi photobooks if Nino had a girlfriend. UM. KIDDING! :D I'm not stupid, like no.
So. I was reading JE fandom, as usual. Omg, the bitching. Yay. And then, I came across whatthejin's livejournal. Oh, teh hate kills. HATE MEMES, BAZAAM. ANONYMONITY RULES. BUT HATE SUCKS. There was this random ang moh (assuming here) who posted about how SHE (assumption agn) hates all Singaporean fangirls because they're Singaporean and therefore, they're clearly destined to be retarded. LIKE WTF!? SERIOUSLY. GET A LIFE, BITCH. If its about the Singlish, lemme tell you, that, I've never been proud of nor allowed myself to use simply because my ang moh friends don't understand it, but WTF, MY WAH LAUS AND KNNS PWN YOUR DAMNITS AND SHIT. Aw, emotional much?
BUT YES, I DO HATE SMAP & THOSE (WHOARETHEY) JUNIOR GRPS, BUT I THINK CHINEN IS CUTE LA. and anyone who disses Matsujun crosses the line, hear! But I do admit that he doesnt have much of a singing voice. I can't tell lies. :D But I'm not lying when I say he's awesome.
But can I lie when I defend Singapore & our Singaporeans (although some of their language do take the cake when I say it's nonsense) that the only reason I'm doing so is because Im STILL a Singaporean? NA, okay. I sing National Day songs. There's still some Singaporean in me, some tinny patrotism that I never knew existed. Wonderful.
You know what? Whatever politics duel there's going to be, I'm so not going to be involved. Cause I don't care and I don't want to care, kthx. I would care if I knew more, I guess. But whatever. LEMME ENJOY MY HOLIDAY IN PEACE, PLEASE. LIKE, I DON'T NEED MORE STRESS TO PUSH ME TO THE POINT OF GOING MAD. Yeah, so shoo.
We love Matsujun! /J-crazed fangirl, signing off. Muarh.
Decided to lunch out today. Went to Pizza Hut with the bestfriends after our OUAP talk :D There was a waitress that looked really young.. She can't be more than 14 or 15 years of age. At that age, I was busy studying and couldn't really be bothered by part-time jobs.. Really makes me wonder whether kids like her really need the cash? It is like child labour; it was not a comfortable feeling that I had when she served us. Her mannerism was very dignified and mature through, but this again, just made me muse on whether kids these days grew up too fast? When they should be hanging out with their friends or working hard at the study table, children like them are working, to earn a meagre living, for themselves perhaps?
all that's left of something? Somethings that shouldnt have become a problem, are becoming major tribulations to me. It's because I seriously don't have a CAN-DO attitude. I tend to look at all the consequences, and henceforth, decide earlier on that it cannot be done, can never be done, will never be done. That is such a BADBADBAD way of thinking. Right. Holidays are a run away from the mundane hum-dum of everyday school life. Yay.
Sometimes, my pride gets hold of me, and I don't want nor desire God's help or reliance. Then, I realise, that I'm only human. Time and time again, He reminds me that I must be, should be, faithful. He has asked: Why do you call me your God when you do not follow my commandments? When I read God's word, a little angel told me, No one can be without him, for he is the Father, the Savior and the King.
No one.
Define fun for me, please.
I'm leaving on a jetplane~
Subarashi SekaiEnglish Translation -Arashi
This is a little song, a tiny song, now my hands fly high, high in the air I hope that my gentle voice that believes in friends, reaches you far far away
I was searching for something in the sky that is dyed the color of sighs Even though I can't outdistance the shadows that stretch out from here, and the uneasy future
This moment is the end to many nights A blessing of tears, so that tomorrow too, you can be yourself!
Riding on the last train, let's run through the sad train station We'll be at your town before long We'll laugh, cry, and then we'll dream about tomorrow Thank you, wonderful world
(Hello, hello, my new world, hello, hello, sing a little song)
We've walked this far, and each happy day asks "why?" I believed that dreams were beyond the morning sun, and faintly colored days pass by
One day, you will be by my side I'm tired of waiting for that time to come, I close my eyes to the blessing of tomorrow!
Riding on a full train, I've begun to lose the feelings that are important But right now, I should still be on time We'll laugh, cry, and then we'll dream about tomorrow From here on out, it's a wonderful world
Wow, the street lights draw out the outlines, and shine down on the pathless road Today too, the ashen sky should open up again, if you're here I wanna say something 2 all my homies I'm still on a journey Everything is gonna be all right I'm going to repaint all the colors of "the near future"
Riding on the last train, let's run through the sad train station We'll be at your town before long We'll laugh, cry, and then we'll dream about tomorrow Thank you, wonderful world
Riding on a full train, I've begun to lose the feelings that are important But right now, I should still be on time We'll laugh, cry, and then we'll dream about tomorrow From here on out, it's a wonderful world
This is a little song, a tiny song, now my hands fly high, high in the air I hope that my gentle voice that believes in friends, reaches you far far away
guess life can't always go your way! so make the best of what you've got! THAT'S WHAT I REMINDED MYSELF OF TODAY. cause of.. certain things. (:
Yeah, responsibility does change you, doesnt it? So let things get better, not worse. Please?
SUMIMASEN. TOIRE WA DOKO DESU KA. I sooooooooooo want to say this to someone! It says, Excuse me, where are the toilets? HAHAHA. Sounds fun to play with, LOL. A: ICHI-NEN BURI DESU NE. B: HAI HAI, MATA OME NI KAKARETE URESHII DESU. A: HAI, WATASHI MO. :DDDDDDD
Yay, going for a longggggggggg holiday soon :D GRINS. happy happy. SO HAPPY. BUT SO TIRED OF IT ALL TOO. IM EXPERIENCING BURNOUT YAY. :( okay, jiayou. you can do it! who says you can't? YOUR GREATEST ENEMY IS YOURSELF, DONT YOU KNOW THAT? I'm leav-v-v-ing on a jetplane~ LALALA. Don't you just love year end holidays? It SO gives me a reason to buy new winter coats too, hahahaa. I've got my eyes set on those leather gloves thro :D Even through I have a hell load of wollen gloves bought from Edinburgh last year.. I'd use them! I already promised Mum I will, :D
ONLY WORD TO DESCRIBE MY FEELING NOW AND ITS NOT EVEN ENGLISH: sian. Soko, soko. Ano, ogenki desu ka.
can we let go. i told you, yes, i can. i can let go of the world, my world. i can be cruel & you think that's wrong. can't help the way i was built, the way i was born, the way in which i diligently smile even if the skies turn grey. Following that Life Path. Cause isn't it always just about, someone else's dreams that somehow become yours? the Struggle to achieve MY DREAMS. i've seen enough of them crash; nothing will stop me from, being myself.
I had a talk with Amanda today. Made me feel good, cause I told her quite a bit. And cleared up quite a bit too :D So now, Cherie's a happy girl. To some extent. HAA.
I think I'm a total cry-baby la. LOLS. Miss Lang is leaving JJ. I don't know if its the stress or the illness that's making me emotional or maybe it was because Ching Kang kept trying to irritate me, but I cried. Again. Sigh. Really regret not doing her work properly before. She's one of my best teachers. And one of the nicest. I don't know why, but I feel so upset over her leaving. :( Oh, come on, brighten up. Things change, people leave, the world continues to revolve. But I don't want them to change. I know I do sound childish and naive, but I really do feel this way. IF ONLY TIME WOULD COME TO A STAND STILL; and let us remain in this limbo forever. Oh, let me ask you. Can you tell me where do I stand?
I came to school for the make-up lecture on Binomial and Poisson. Glad I came, cause I could understand so much better. :D Yeah. Not feeling any better thro. In fact, I kinda feel worse. LOL.
I need to go to school through. I really need to. Even if I'm sick to the point of dying. I need to catch up on work. Seriously. Sigh.
Had dinner at Mos with Pengs and the rest plus May Ching. I loveeeeeeee Mos Burger. HAHAHA. Kinda reminds me of MOS:Ministry of Sound. Yay, partayy! :D
seeing you this lonely, doesnt make me feel any better.
listen love, you aint worth the chase, as much as you'd like to think.
Reminscing AGAIN. And crapping with Ben. Looking for jobs, when i should be mugging. Huh. My first time ever bothering to look for a job. Well, I never had the time nor the chance to bother about money before.
A loud shout-out to EEVINLEE who never updates her blog, but is still loved all the same, who came all the way to my place to pass me Miss Lang's Math homework cause I was ill and this isn't the first time she's done favours like this for me. -guilty- THANK YOU DARLING. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU'RE TREASURED. <3 And we talked. And talked. And talked. And I admitted to her what I denied before. And I psycho-ed her into joining for o1! And we shared our list of cute guys, yet again. :D Oohh, someone regrets not joining as a fac! HAHA. -pokitypoke- LOVES. CAUSE BFFS LAST FOR A LIFETIME. And I'm reserving my Fri for you, hun! :D
It's friends like this that make my day, its friends like this that make me realize, what the f*** am I moping for?
MUARK. & Lily Allen rocks.
i hate your pretence, hate your lies, hate that i can hate you.
wish I had one good reason why, I should stay. wish I knew why I ended up, in this place.
Right. So I was reminscing. And I thought of what someone said to someone else who told me. And I still amazes me how you could speak words like that, when we were such good friends. Yeah, I wonder if I could ever bring myself to forgive you? Ah, no thanks. Such imbecility shouldnt interest me.
Still having a killer cough, like major. Coughing every second rackles my whole body. It's not a good feeling. And there's Oral Presentation in two weeks time! Panick attack. I'm drowning lime water into my throat like every other minute. And taking oh-so-yurky medicine and loads of antibotics. Mum is really worried; cause.. my cousin apparently started out like this but ended up with pneumonia. Gosh, sure does sound frightening.
Brushing up on Japanese isn't as easy as I thought it would be! Drat. I'm starting from the basic basics, like Hiragana? Its : 1. Hiragana - basic, 2. Hiragana - Verbs/Nouns/Linking syllabus 3. Kanji - 20 characters a day.
And I'm still at Hiragana - basic. Great. -sigh-
I planned out my study schedule. Well, for one, I've got to catch up on every single damn topic that I missed out last week. Too lazy to get my ass to school, so, I'm going to ask Eevin to help me collect them from Miss Lang's pigeon hole. Then, I'd go over to her place later. Frankly, I don't feel like doing anything, but I have to study, as much as I dread doing so.! Oh wow. IM SO GOING TO MASTER BINOMAL AND POISSON DISTRIBUTION. LIKE SO THERE.
Oh f*** off. Gee. It's not often that I use the all-so-dreaded 4 letter word. What, fish? Haha. Sure feels like I want to scream this shit to the world. Why does the sun set? Why does the world revolve? Why is the sky blue? Why does the stratosphere exist? Why is there hot and cold? Why do we exist? What is life all about? Living until you can't breathe.
WOW, EMO. OKAY, STOP. GET ME OUTTA HERE. Sit on a jet and fly me out of this place. Yay, Thailand. Yay, China. Yay, Japan. Althrough I greatly prefer Japan, it doesn't really matter.
I have filming schedules coming up soon. Hope they'd be fun :D Cant't wait. At least there's something to look forward to.
By the way, if anyone saw my court shoes, please return them to me. They're a size 6 and they were on the Council room's open shelves, the ones near the door. And they were in an ugly Bata shoe box. Yep. I need them for the event tomorrow.
say what you say, do what you do, as long as its real. take what you take, just be what you want, as long as its real.
Man, I need cash again. the November collection rocks! Especially the sprees :D Gotta clear the cupboards again.
I don't know what I'm supposed to feel, don't know why I can't go forward like I did before, but I know I'm trying.
I missed my grandma alot. Although I can't really converse with her much, cause she doesnt really understand English and Chinese, but with her, I feel like everything's fine. The world's great. Life's the way it should be. So I went to her place today, like I should every Sunday. And we talked. And she said that she's proud of me. Not directly but whatever. I could feel the pride. And I told myself, this isn't just about me. As much as I tell myself I live for me, sometimes, it turns out I live for someone else. I can't disappoint her, can't change that image she has of me. Cause I want to uphold that picture in her mind; her darling eldest granddaughter, the model student, the one who never gives up, the student councillor, the one always smiling, the ones listening to the troubles of someone else and not whining herself, the most Beloved & Treasured.
I don't live for myself.
It seems.. That I've allowed some things to get to me too much. I was once the most cheerful child in class. Every report would come back to my parents with the words: Cherie is a very lovable and bubbly student in class, she smiles and laughs a lot and this makes her classmates around her to feel very positive too. Man, people do change with time. By the time I got to Sec 4 I was probably the most emo-fic child in class. And I hate it that my mother constantly reminds me that Life aint fair. Yeah I know it, I get it, damnit so stop telling me like you're trying to screw this depression into my mind for eternity.
& there's so many damn things I want to tell you, to scream at your face, to remind you how much I hate you, how much I love you, how much I care.
How much I love you. What a word, what a sentence. Is it true? Saaa. Who knows? Who cares? I don't want to care.
Guess what, I studied today. Japanese, Math and Geog. Wow? HAHAA. Come on, how long more to A levels?
WOOH. Camp's over. It was great, except for a little screw ups here and there but hey, which camp doesn't have screw ups? Well, because I was in Admin comm, I sure stayed in the LN a lot. I was already falling ill but the constant air-conditioning of the Leaders' Network which doubles as our Camp Command Center really killed my immune system. Um, I have like a severe cough with loads of phlegm that clogs up my breathing system and the influenza doesn't help cause I can't breathe thru my nose and my chest hurts from all the viruses. Not the mention the splitting headache that comes with the pressure of influenza in my head. They aren't excuses to slack through and despite all the 'obstacles', I think I really gave it my all for Admin. Through LN was perpectually noisy and I hated it (It pushed me to the point where I had to scream at some people for fooling around where they shouldn't be) and I couldn't shout much, we all gave it our best shot. SCDC, Log & Games did their best too, we made this camp a success. So, good job guys :D
Wow, my first time blogging about our camps.
To be honest, there were a lot of things troubling me. Sidetrack, These few weeks I've been interacting with XINYI (:D) a lot, and we kinda discussed some stuff. We had a habit of talking about sensitive stuff in the toilet, den turn out the girls' toilet not exactly sound proof, can hear what we talking in the boys' toilet. So maybe a lot of what we say got leaked, HAHAHA. I know this because on the last night, I heard voices like a walkie talkie talking, den I realised it was Ching Kang talking from the boys' toilet. And he shouted my name and we had a mini convo over the walls. And XY and I were like : Oh shit. LOLOL. Okay whatever la, it's our opinions that matter to us anyway HAHA.
Went out with Pearlyn, Desmy & Vivien after camp, supposed to go with Yunnan Planning Comm people plus XY and a few other councillors, but we kinda lost them along the way cause they're such a big bunch of people and they didn't realise we kept stopping to wait for each other. Jowell was carrying my sleeping bag thro, LOLOL. Must get back from him when school reopens. Anyway, we went to IMM. Talked a lot, straightened some things out, confided stuff, Vivien slept alot (She was so tired) but P, D & me kept talking anyway. Um, all I have to say is that, there were definitely troubles shared la.
I talked to Viv about a matter that happened quite some while ago. I couldn't take it; I cried. That hurt is still there and I feel that, I really want to make things change. I should have clarified this with _______ a long time ago, but AIYAH, a lot of things stopped me from clarifying it and V asked me a lot of times if I was certain what I thought happen, did happen. I couldn't give her a definite answer but I really go feel 80% sure of it la. I need to talk to _______, can't, don't, shouldn't let this affect us cause it's like a burden I carry. I can't talk to _______ as well as I could before, and I think ______ feels it too. Another matter that involves ______ troubled me too; but it's quite ridiculous and I feel so bad for feeling that way. Couldn't stop the tears from falling; felt so emotionally&physically drained. I don't want to fight with myself anymore.
I understood a lot of things from this camp; realised the standard I should uphold and the things I want to get done, realised I kept too many things within myself, realised I'm afraid of confrontation, realised that the free spirit that I was has become this person so afraid of the world, so much so that I hate myself, hate the person I have become, the fear that I have, I think I'm losing it.
God. He gave me infallible determination and for that, I feel immensely blessed. Because despite all the demoralising, the fear, the unhappiness, the depression, I am determined that I will make it, I can make it. I will accept no more failures. Mr Leow is right, (this pertains to studies) if we aren't going to start studying now, whenever are we going to start? I believe that I can do it, juggle both Council duties and school work. I want my 4 As but at the same time, I don't want to slack off on Council work. I have to have faith. Because if even I don't have faith in myself, whoever is going to have faith in me?
I was asked a question, or rather a statement: You love him, don't you. Truth is, I don't know. So helpless, hapless & frustrated that Im not able to control my emotions. So frustrated that it's true that I can't control everything in my Life. Yeah, I'm a bit naive and I would like to think that Life is all happy-haha but Life kinda proves me wrong all the time. Don't wanna care but I end up defending him all the time, time and time again. This is so stupid, it's so.. stupid. So stupid until its not really helping my current situation. Yet, the last thing I would want to do is to avoid him altogether because it's just impossible. I need time.
Yes. Doing the Oral Presentation script now. I'm going away for camp for four days. YES, until SATURDAY. so miss me, okay? :DDDDDD / Elwin is so lame. Carebears are asexual? Yeah, sure. HAHA. TAG REPLIES:
Daphne - relinked darl :DDDDD and they're not tinny fonts anymore! (:
Liw - you take care too alright! LOVEYOULOTS>
BENedict - yay! I know you found the ARASHI CD, hahaha. Blog more la you.
Liw/Glenda/YanQiu - thanks!!! HAHAHA. Liw you send me msg already no? :D YanQiu, yeah, it was fun! You should have came! HAHA. MUCH LOVE.
I have to admit, I've sunk into a deep pit of depression, whether I like it or not. There's too many unfinished things I want to do, too much exhuastion, I feel like I'm funneling back into the abyss of yesteryear. But I will go on. Because I have to, and I should.
I need to go out, you see. And face the sun and the world. And stop moping. Even through, I never succeed at doing so. Father, all I need is Your guidance, Your wisdom, Your forgive-ness and Your love.
I went for another doctor's appointment. It was fine, except that I need to go for another one, next week. How lovely.
It was a dreadful school day. Loads of people skipped school, lessons were boring (Well, when aren't they?) but, friends entertained me much :D I have to tell you, Stella's rendation of Maria & Beautiful Girl from 200 Pounds Beauty, is both hilarious and entertaining. She looked like a star with her antics and everything! The chair was her stage through, LOL, and I think teachers were staring at us from above. Thank God we didn't get caught, hahaha. Anyway, I watched 200 Pounds Beauty at Jia's house on Sunday, and it's a great show. The Korean guy's damn hot too! :D
Maria by the actress, no idea what's her name LOL.
Beautiful Girl.
BY THE WAY, HAD A GREAT 17TH BIRTHDAY, EVEN IF FAMILY WASN'T SUPPORTIVE -SULKS- I had four birthday celebrations/gatherings through, so it was still great. :D Loads of presents this year, thankyou to all who have remembered my birthday!:D LOVEYOUGUYSSOMUCH. MUARK. LAZY TO UPLOAD PICTURES (LIKEALWAYS) it's so troublesome can. HAHAHAH. ANYWAY, GOT BAD HAIR DAY, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME! SIGH. tired.
I visited TenjoStyle's blog like always, and besides the other Arashi nitbits I always revel in (:D) There was new about NewS. LOL. That looked weird. anyway NewS, has a new single!!! It's call Weeeek(Yes, four 'e's) and it played in Japan in a commercial called Russ.K, for some product I think. Anyway, it's lovely, and I'm addicted! There's CM(commericals) with different people of NewS in it, but I loved the YamaPi, Koyama & Masu one the most!
YamaPi, Koyama&Masu:
All:
Basically, it's the same thing, but who cares! ENTERTAINING (: There's others, but you can go source for them yourself! HAHA :D
4B gathering ytd was fun! Through I got diarroea today from eating all that half-cooked food. -.- FEWWWW people came and HQ and I were lateee. Not that few la, lemme think; KinLai, Fendy, Whitney, Yvonne, Benson, WeiLang, Leslie, Zheng Ming, Hong Wei, Melvin, Regina, Alvin, Yew Leong ... And that's it. Including HuiQing and I, of course.
I couldn't recognise Hong Wei at first sight, cause he stopped wearing glasses! LOL. And Yew Leong and I kept talking about health products, Regina and I kept taking pictures, Wei Lang kept trying to scare me with the live prawn and with his (usual REALLY ANNOYING tactics like boo!) voice-in-my-ear kinda thing (ARGHH. I haven't killed you for that, yet, you idiot). It's been three years, and we haven't changed, it's great :D
Melvin eats a lot, seriously a LOT. How does he remain skinny, I do wonder.. Alvin is still lame, Leslie still takes pictures (with a bigger camera this time), Fendy and I are still stressed over OP & Chinese A lvl (but he scored like AAB for promos, so whatdahell, smart), Zheng Ming's in the army (cause he's 20 already), KinLai and I still can talk about anything under the sun HAHA, Whitney is still cute (she lost weight thro (:) & Benson is still the same old arrogant him. Yvonne is still smily as always :D Hui Qing is still my bestbestbestbestestfriend, &&& that will definitely NEVER change, you hear? :D We've gone through too much together to let THAT change. We argued like non-stop in Secondary 2 & 3, like seriously everyday. But that changed through :D Can I say I love my class? 4b YEAH! Hey the others who didn't come, man.. You guys lost out on a lot (; Anyway, this is the first 4B gathering that I'm attending! HAHA.
Okay, I need to visit the toilet.
Sister ordered the Time CD, regular edition and some other limited edition for goodness knows what, and I want my Aiba pictures can? And my super-huge-ass ARASHI poster! <3s Sister is waiting for Ohno's uchiwa which has been sold out since goodness knows when. Hey, I want Matsujun's uchiwa ! My birthday is cominggggg :DDD It's tomorrow! I wouldn't mind, if I got,
1. iPod classic white 2. PSP slim white/pink 3. a new desktop 4. SIMS 2 - Seasons/Bon Voyage/Pets 5. ARASHI ANYTHING. LIKE SERIOUSLY ANYTHING. 6. AND ANYTHING ELSE, IM NOT PICKY. SO LONG AS ITS NICE! :D
Thank you all those people who have given early birthday presents to me! Especially N385 for the Hillsong CD (I love it!:D) and KinLai&Fendy for the Polo wallet! <3s
The birthday celebration for me by N385 was wonderful!! :DDDDD I was so surprised by it, I seriously thought we were going to play a game, haha. I was so happy (((((: Thank you guys soooooosoooooo much :D LOVES.
Which reminds me, BEN MUST LEND ME HIS ARASHI CD!!! YOU HEAR! :D Ok, will bug you when you get back from service.
I'm so so so so so so tired ne~~~~~~~~~~ Trying desperately to keep my eyes open. OMG.
Had fun today, after the facs' meeting, went to Losa's house, the Gang was there, shant name names, but some of you guys might know who :D Of course, my bestfriend (whom I havent seen in a while and miss alotalotalotalot, that stupid girl) LEONGHUIQING was there, which was a bit of a surprise, ahah! :D I missed her so much & there's so much to catch up now. That's why, we're going to crap so much over the weekend that it'd never end. Anyway, I went with Louisa & YX to Louisa(losa)'s house, mannnnnnn. GOSSIP TOTALLY RULES MY WORLD. oops. It can efficiently keep my awake. So the Gang got together, plusssssss JunHong (another old classmate I havent seen in forever) & we had pizzaHut for dinner! :D gossipgossipgossip partypartyparty, fun! :D Can't get enough of best friends for life (; It's really different with your closest friends and with friends that are kind of hi-bye sort of thing; it's really different. Miss those pigs, though I do see YX & Losa at school a lot.
By the way, Im promoted, smoothly. (: Yay for me. I actually managed to pass 3 H2s out of my 4 H2s and all my H1s. Thank God. I need to work harder, if only I didnt slack so much!Then I wouldn't have failed Math. LOL. Did quite well for Lit. Pride and joy, haha.
OMG. Im so tired. Life sucks? Take a pill? Tired of living by standards. Shitthosestandards; I live by my own. Chanced upon this Johnny's Entertainment meme. JE is a Japanese music group producing company. Gonna do it now. FOr fun.
Name Cherie Age 17 in 2 days! :D location Singapore Your favorite debuted group ARASHI, of course (: Your favorite Junior group Um, don't know much about them -.- Your least favorite group Kattun? Your favorite member MATSUJUN & none other. Do you support JE pairings? If yes, what's your OTP? NOOOOO. Cause I see them as friends, instead of otherwise. LOL.
Did JE make you poor? YES, VERY MUCH. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THE ARASHI TIME LIMITED EDITION COST? 100 OVER, YES, 100 OVER. FOR A CD. A CD. How do you feel when you hear nasty rumors about your favorite? I feel like slapping the source and screaming that Matsujun is the greatest. Yeah, he acts really royally annoying sometimes, but fame can get to your head you know! He's still nice (: Do you like to read JE gossip? YESYESYESYESYES. Of couse :D Do you want to go stalk/see your favorite JE boy? I would stalk Sho. I don't know why! WHYAMINOTSTALKINGMATSUJUNINSTEAD? What's your favorite JE-related TV program? Shukudai. It was funny! Loved the innovative food that Aiba would come up with, and seeing the shocked looks on some of the guests' faces! Also learn that Ohno loves all food, unsavory or noth (; Mago Mago Arashi was my weekly feed before it ended.. :( Waiting for GRA now. What's your favorite Drama? HANA YORI DANGO 1&2 (JAPAN), HANAZAKARI NO KIMITACHI E (JAPAN) Do you like paparazzi pictures? Not really. I do wish the media would stop hounding celebs, sometimes they DO need their own life you know. And that's why, I would never buy paparazzi Matsujun pictures, haha.
What's your favorite anime/manga(s)? NARUTO, BLEACH, DGRAYMAN, FRUITS BASKET, THE WALLFOWER, OURAN HOST CLUB, VAMPIRE KNIGHT, GOONG. Do you support Yaoi? Eh, not really. I kinda find it disturbing. What's your favorite Anime/manga pairing? It has to be SASUKE/SAKURA from naruto. OTP!
Any other fandoms besides JE and anime/manga? English Pop, Chinese Pop, Fahrenheit? What is usually in your Journal? rants, random stuff, arashi, life, whines, loves. Do you have rules when it comes to friending people? NOPE! Why should I? (: Anything else? I love Toma. A lottttttttttt~ (:
But because of that, I have managed to finish watching Hanazakari No Kimitachi E, like finally ~~~~ After 6 months, LOL. Enjoyed watching them at the same time as Ben, ahhaha. We were a bit lame, but we pesisted in watching them at the same time while we were both online and then commented like crazy on the MSN windows which were made to be super small sized by the side of the video windows. Subarashi ne~ Really was fun watching together. We're going to watch Hana Yori Dango too! HAHA. After he gets back from M'sia, that is. Yeahhhhh. Ben is lucky to be able to go on a break, :[ Have a safe journey!
UWAH. I feel sick. Seriously. But the doctor didn't give me an MC. :[ Man. :[
I love Toma. Happy belated birthday, dearest.
Oh yeahhhs. Happy birthday to EVAN too :DDDD Doubt she'd see this post thro, hahaha.
Sigh. Hey, made some personal commitments to myself today. YES. I prayed for God's wisdom and guidance. I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for everyone, that God will bless them always. I'm going to be true to myself & I should just stop moping around. I haven't been myself lately. ERGHHHHHHHHH~ COMEON. Brighten up Cherie. The world's not over. GAMBATTE GAMBATTE GAMBATTE! DONT YOU DARE GIVE UP. ARENT YOU GLAD ITS JUST PROMOS AND NOT A LVLS, DAMNIT? STOP MOPING!
:D Yes, I should be optimistic. Sigh. I wrote nothing but poems today.
Sometimes, life DOES seem a little meaningless. But like I wrote for myself before : MEANING IN LIFE IS FOR YOU TO ATTAIN, THERE CAN ONLY BE MEANING WHEN YOU WILL IT TO BE. ...don't you think so?
Thank you friends, for consoling me. I know, there's still a longer way to go. There's still a journey to take on, a path to lead, a life to bloom. It's just the beginning, ne?
A person who's not true to oneself, is pitiful and full of sorrow..
And I feel lost. AND ANGRY, sometimes. With people who assume they're always right and you must be wrong. Oh man, its tough. Balancing a diff lifestyle from yours. I dont know if I can take this any longer.
BUT its okay. Put on a smile, fake or not, and carry on LIFE as you should.
Not feeling well again, maybe that's why Im cranky today? Sorry bro&sis. AHAHAAH. BUT CELESTINE SHOULD STUDY. Physics is not an obstacle you're stuck with alright? You'd get pass it :D JIAYOU.
Why, do you think I should apologise to the whole world? I feel bad, but it doesnt mean I feel wrong (:
Sorry for the lack in updates lately, its because I have kinda shifted to Vox. It's lovely and I encourage everyone to go shift (teeheehee, and add me on your friends list!); only complaint I have is that its links system is pretty bad.
Therefore, it would be pretty hard to link everyone on my current link list at VOX and I would like to say that its really optional whether you wish to relink me, because I wouldnt want to lose you as a link-friend (:D) and I would still update my Blogspot occasionally.
BTW, finished ECONS paper today. Was okay, except that I didnt really have time to finish up the essays (major bummer) although it was 'somewhat' finished, which is equivalent to crap.
I know Im failing Math (Im not being pessimistic; I think I only managed to finish like in total five questions out of the fifteen super difficult questions) anddddd I have Geog H2 on Thurs and Lit H2 on Fri.
Then, Im free :D
Ohoh, taggers on my tagboard, sorry if I kinda didnt reply your tags for a while! My IE is kinda screwed and it doesnt show the tagboard sometimes; it just resumed operation a few minutes ago.
AH! For those who are still interested in reading about my (mundane&really boring) life, please head over to http://yunjing.vox.com.
(If I had a choice on how my life will be, I want to travel with someone I love,
and take photographs of the myriad and the pretty, spreading the love of Christ,
near and far until the ends of the world!)
I ♥ God and God ♥ me!
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not unfriendly!!!!!!
Talk to me and I'd definitely talk to you.
Most people don't really get me but I usually get most people.
Economics is beyond fascinating. ;)
x
Family is ♥!
Best friends are ♥!
Colours are ♥!
The universe is ♥!
Layout: Lost Days Best viewed: Internet Explorer Resolution: 1024X768 Credits: IIIIVVVI
31 October 2007
TV Life Japan, I like :D So, crazy JE fangirls should always always visit jesummary on livejournal. It helps, plentiful.
I stared out of the window while coming to school. Exhuastion. Even I myself know that I'm getting sick of daily routines, I don't have the drive to go on. A break would be good. A break would be great. A bit of resentment creeps into my mind, Too little of the things I desire, do I possess. Resentment of life? Pish posh, what rubbish. Resentment.
YAMA.PI DATES A PORN STAR. (according to my ever-trustful sister) wtf? My heart just broke for a second. A second. I don't care if he dates some girl like Maki or whatever, but a porn star! Okok, calm down. Like, different people have different ethics. I would scream and rip my Arashi photobooks if Nino had a girlfriend. UM. KIDDING! :D I'm not stupid, like no.
So. I was reading JE fandom, as usual. Omg, the bitching. Yay. And then, I came across whatthejin's livejournal. Oh, teh hate kills. HATE MEMES, BAZAAM. ANONYMONITY RULES. BUT HATE SUCKS. There was this random ang moh (assuming here) who posted about how SHE (assumption agn) hates all Singaporean fangirls because they're Singaporean and therefore, they're clearly destined to be retarded. LIKE WTF!? SERIOUSLY. GET A LIFE, BITCH. If its about the Singlish, lemme tell you, that, I've never been proud of nor allowed myself to use simply because my ang moh friends don't understand it, but WTF, MY WAH LAUS AND KNNS PWN YOUR DAMNITS AND SHIT. Aw, emotional much?
BUT YES, I DO HATE SMAP & THOSE (WHOARETHEY) JUNIOR GRPS, BUT I THINK CHINEN IS CUTE LA. and anyone who disses Matsujun crosses the line, hear! But I do admit that he doesnt have much of a singing voice. I can't tell lies. :D But I'm not lying when I say he's awesome.
But can I lie when I defend Singapore & our Singaporeans (although some of their language do take the cake when I say it's nonsense) that the only reason I'm doing so is because Im STILL a Singaporean? NA, okay. I sing National Day songs. There's still some Singaporean in me, some tinny patrotism that I never knew existed. Wonderful.
You know what? Whatever politics duel there's going to be, I'm so not going to be involved. Cause I don't care and I don't want to care, kthx. I would care if I knew more, I guess. But whatever. LEMME ENJOY MY HOLIDAY IN PEACE, PLEASE. LIKE, I DON'T NEED MORE STRESS TO PUSH ME TO THE POINT OF GOING MAD. Yeah, so shoo.
We love Matsujun! /J-crazed fangirl, signing off. Muarh.
Decided to lunch out today. Went to Pizza Hut with the bestfriends after our OUAP talk :D There was a waitress that looked really young.. She can't be more than 14 or 15 years of age. At that age, I was busy studying and couldn't really be bothered by part-time jobs.. Really makes me wonder whether kids like her really need the cash? It is like child labour; it was not a comfortable feeling that I had when she served us. Her mannerism was very dignified and mature through, but this again, just made me muse on whether kids these days grew up too fast? When they should be hanging out with their friends or working hard at the study table, children like them are working, to earn a meagre living, for themselves perhaps?
all that's left of something? Somethings that shouldnt have become a problem, are becoming major tribulations to me. It's because I seriously don't have a CAN-DO attitude. I tend to look at all the consequences, and henceforth, decide earlier on that it cannot be done, can never be done, will never be done. That is such a BADBADBAD way of thinking. Right. Holidays are a run away from the mundane hum-dum of everyday school life. Yay.
Sometimes, my pride gets hold of me, and I don't want nor desire God's help or reliance. Then, I realise, that I'm only human. Time and time again, He reminds me that I must be, should be, faithful. He has asked: Why do you call me your God when you do not follow my commandments? When I read God's word, a little angel told me, No one can be without him, for he is the Father, the Savior and the King.
No one.
Define fun for me, please.
I'm leaving on a jetplane~
Subarashi SekaiEnglish Translation -Arashi
This is a little song, a tiny song, now my hands fly high, high in the air I hope that my gentle voice that believes in friends, reaches you far far away
I was searching for something in the sky that is dyed the color of sighs Even though I can't outdistance the shadows that stretch out from here, and the uneasy future
This moment is the end to many nights A blessing of tears, so that tomorrow too, you can be yourself!
Riding on the last train, let's run through the sad train station We'll be at your town before long We'll laugh, cry, and then we'll dream about tomorrow Thank you, wonderful world
(Hello, hello, my new world, hello, hello, sing a little song)
We've walked this far, and each happy day asks "why?" I believed that dreams were beyond the morning sun, and faintly colored days pass by
One day, you will be by my side I'm tired of waiting for that time to come, I close my eyes to the blessing of tomorrow!
Riding on a full train, I've begun to lose the feelings that are important But right now, I should still be on time We'll laugh, cry, and then we'll dream about tomorrow From here on out, it's a wonderful world
Wow, the street lights draw out the outlines, and shine down on the pathless road Today too, the ashen sky should open up again, if you're here I wanna say something 2 all my homies I'm still on a journey Everything is gonna be all right I'm going to repaint all the colors of "the near future"
Riding on the last train, let's run through the sad train station We'll be at your town before long We'll laugh, cry, and then we'll dream about tomorrow Thank you, wonderful world
Riding on a full train, I've begun to lose the feelings that are important But right now, I should still be on time We'll laugh, cry, and then we'll dream about tomorrow From here on out, it's a wonderful world
This is a little song, a tiny song, now my hands fly high, high in the air I hope that my gentle voice that believes in friends, reaches you far far away
guess life can't always go your way! so make the best of what you've got! THAT'S WHAT I REMINDED MYSELF OF TODAY. cause of.. certain things. (:
Yeah, responsibility does change you, doesnt it? So let things get better, not worse. Please?
SUMIMASEN. TOIRE WA DOKO DESU KA. I sooooooooooo want to say this to someone! It says, Excuse me, where are the toilets? HAHAHA. Sounds fun to play with, LOL. A: ICHI-NEN BURI DESU NE. B: HAI HAI, MATA OME NI KAKARETE URESHII DESU. A: HAI, WATASHI MO. :DDDDDDD
Yay, going for a longggggggggg holiday soon :D GRINS. happy happy. SO HAPPY. BUT SO TIRED OF IT ALL TOO. IM EXPERIENCING BURNOUT YAY. :( okay, jiayou. you can do it! who says you can't? YOUR GREATEST ENEMY IS YOURSELF, DONT YOU KNOW THAT? I'm leav-v-v-ing on a jetplane~ LALALA. Don't you just love year end holidays? It SO gives me a reason to buy new winter coats too, hahahaa. I've got my eyes set on those leather gloves thro :D Even through I have a hell load of wollen gloves bought from Edinburgh last year.. I'd use them! I already promised Mum I will, :D
ONLY WORD TO DESCRIBE MY FEELING NOW AND ITS NOT EVEN ENGLISH: sian. Soko, soko. Ano, ogenki desu ka.
can we let go. i told you, yes, i can. i can let go of the world, my world. i can be cruel & you think that's wrong. can't help the way i was built, the way i was born, the way in which i diligently smile even if the skies turn grey. Following that Life Path. Cause isn't it always just about, someone else's dreams that somehow become yours? the Struggle to achieve MY DREAMS. i've seen enough of them crash; nothing will stop me from, being myself.
I had a talk with Amanda today. Made me feel good, cause I told her quite a bit. And cleared up quite a bit too :D So now, Cherie's a happy girl. To some extent. HAA.
I think I'm a total cry-baby la. LOLS. Miss Lang is leaving JJ. I don't know if its the stress or the illness that's making me emotional or maybe it was because Ching Kang kept trying to irritate me, but I cried. Again. Sigh. Really regret not doing her work properly before. She's one of my best teachers. And one of the nicest. I don't know why, but I feel so upset over her leaving. :( Oh, come on, brighten up. Things change, people leave, the world continues to revolve. But I don't want them to change. I know I do sound childish and naive, but I really do feel this way. IF ONLY TIME WOULD COME TO A STAND STILL; and let us remain in this limbo forever. Oh, let me ask you. Can you tell me where do I stand?
I came to school for the make-up lecture on Binomial and Poisson. Glad I came, cause I could understand so much better. :D Yeah. Not feeling any better thro. In fact, I kinda feel worse. LOL.
I need to go to school through. I really need to. Even if I'm sick to the point of dying. I need to catch up on work. Seriously. Sigh.
Had dinner at Mos with Pengs and the rest plus May Ching. I loveeeeeeee Mos Burger. HAHAHA. Kinda reminds me of MOS:Ministry of Sound. Yay, partayy! :D
seeing you this lonely, doesnt make me feel any better.
listen love, you aint worth the chase, as much as you'd like to think.
Reminscing AGAIN. And crapping with Ben. Looking for jobs, when i should be mugging. Huh. My first time ever bothering to look for a job. Well, I never had the time nor the chance to bother about money before.
A loud shout-out to EEVINLEE who never updates her blog, but is still loved all the same, who came all the way to my place to pass me Miss Lang's Math homework cause I was ill and this isn't the first time she's done favours like this for me. -guilty- THANK YOU DARLING. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU'RE TREASURED. <3 And we talked. And talked. And talked. And I admitted to her what I denied before. And I psycho-ed her into joining for o1! And we shared our list of cute guys, yet again. :D Oohh, someone regrets not joining as a fac! HAHA. -pokitypoke- LOVES. CAUSE BFFS LAST FOR A LIFETIME. And I'm reserving my Fri for you, hun! :D
It's friends like this that make my day, its friends like this that make me realize, what the f*** am I moping for?
MUARK. & Lily Allen rocks.
i hate your pretence, hate your lies, hate that i can hate you.
wish I had one good reason why, I should stay. wish I knew why I ended up, in this place.
Right. So I was reminscing. And I thought of what someone said to someone else who told me. And I still amazes me how you could speak words like that, when we were such good friends. Yeah, I wonder if I could ever bring myself to forgive you? Ah, no thanks. Such imbecility shouldnt interest me.
Still having a killer cough, like major. Coughing every second rackles my whole body. It's not a good feeling. And there's Oral Presentation in two weeks time! Panick attack. I'm drowning lime water into my throat like every other minute. And taking oh-so-yurky medicine and loads of antibotics. Mum is really worried; cause.. my cousin apparently started out like this but ended up with pneumonia. Gosh, sure does sound frightening.
Brushing up on Japanese isn't as easy as I thought it would be! Drat. I'm starting from the basic basics, like Hiragana? Its : 1. Hiragana - basic, 2. Hiragana - Verbs/Nouns/Linking syllabus 3. Kanji - 20 characters a day.
And I'm still at Hiragana - basic. Great. -sigh-
I planned out my study schedule. Well, for one, I've got to catch up on every single damn topic that I missed out last week. Too lazy to get my ass to school, so, I'm going to ask Eevin to help me collect them from Miss Lang's pigeon hole. Then, I'd go over to her place later. Frankly, I don't feel like doing anything, but I have to study, as much as I dread doing so.! Oh wow. IM SO GOING TO MASTER BINOMAL AND POISSON DISTRIBUTION. LIKE SO THERE.
Oh f*** off. Gee. It's not often that I use the all-so-dreaded 4 letter word. What, fish? Haha. Sure feels like I want to scream this shit to the world. Why does the sun set? Why does the world revolve? Why is the sky blue? Why does the stratosphere exist? Why is there hot and cold? Why do we exist? What is life all about? Living until you can't breathe.
WOW, EMO. OKAY, STOP. GET ME OUTTA HERE. Sit on a jet and fly me out of this place. Yay, Thailand. Yay, China. Yay, Japan. Althrough I greatly prefer Japan, it doesn't really matter.
I have filming schedules coming up soon. Hope they'd be fun :D Cant't wait. At least there's something to look forward to.
By the way, if anyone saw my court shoes, please return them to me. They're a size 6 and they were on the Council room's open shelves, the ones near the door. And they were in an ugly Bata shoe box. Yep. I need them for the event tomorrow.
say what you say, do what you do, as long as its real. take what you take, just be what you want, as long as its real.
Man, I need cash again. the November collection rocks! Especially the sprees :D Gotta clear the cupboards again.
I don't know what I'm supposed to feel, don't know why I can't go forward like I did before, but I know I'm trying.
I missed my grandma alot. Although I can't really converse with her much, cause she doesnt really understand English and Chinese, but with her, I feel like everything's fine. The world's great. Life's the way it should be. So I went to her place today, like I should every Sunday. And we talked. And she said that she's proud of me. Not directly but whatever. I could feel the pride. And I told myself, this isn't just about me. As much as I tell myself I live for me, sometimes, it turns out I live for someone else. I can't disappoint her, can't change that image she has of me. Cause I want to uphold that picture in her mind; her darling eldest granddaughter, the model student, the one who never gives up, the student councillor, the one always smiling, the ones listening to the troubles of someone else and not whining herself, the most Beloved & Treasured.
I don't live for myself.
It seems.. That I've allowed some things to get to me too much. I was once the most cheerful child in class. Every report would come back to my parents with the words: Cherie is a very lovable and bubbly student in class, she smiles and laughs a lot and this makes her classmates around her to feel very positive too. Man, people do change with time. By the time I got to Sec 4 I was probably the most emo-fic child in class. And I hate it that my mother constantly reminds me that Life aint fair. Yeah I know it, I get it, damnit so stop telling me like you're trying to screw this depression into my mind for eternity.
& there's so many damn things I want to tell you, to scream at your face, to remind you how much I hate you, how much I love you, how much I care.
How much I love you. What a word, what a sentence. Is it true? Saaa. Who knows? Who cares? I don't want to care.
Guess what, I studied today. Japanese, Math and Geog. Wow? HAHAA. Come on, how long more to A levels?
WOOH. Camp's over. It was great, except for a little screw ups here and there but hey, which camp doesn't have screw ups? Well, because I was in Admin comm, I sure stayed in the LN a lot. I was already falling ill but the constant air-conditioning of the Leaders' Network which doubles as our Camp Command Center really killed my immune system. Um, I have like a severe cough with loads of phlegm that clogs up my breathing system and the influenza doesn't help cause I can't breathe thru my nose and my chest hurts from all the viruses. Not the mention the splitting headache that comes with the pressure of influenza in my head. They aren't excuses to slack through and despite all the 'obstacles', I think I really gave it my all for Admin. Through LN was perpectually noisy and I hated it (It pushed me to the point where I had to scream at some people for fooling around where they shouldn't be) and I couldn't shout much, we all gave it our best shot. SCDC, Log & Games did their best too, we made this camp a success. So, good job guys :D
Wow, my first time blogging about our camps.
To be honest, there were a lot of things troubling me. Sidetrack, These few weeks I've been interacting with XINYI (:D) a lot, and we kinda discussed some stuff. We had a habit of talking about sensitive stuff in the toilet, den turn out the girls' toilet not exactly sound proof, can hear what we talking in the boys' toilet. So maybe a lot of what we say got leaked, HAHAHA. I know this because on the last night, I heard voices like a walkie talkie talking, den I realised it was Ching Kang talking from the boys' toilet. And he shouted my name and we had a mini convo over the walls. And XY and I were like : Oh shit. LOLOL. Okay whatever la, it's our opinions that matter to us anyway HAHA.
Went out with Pearlyn, Desmy & Vivien after camp, supposed to go with Yunnan Planning Comm people plus XY and a few other councillors, but we kinda lost them along the way cause they're such a big bunch of people and they didn't realise we kept stopping to wait for each other. Jowell was carrying my sleeping bag thro, LOLOL. Must get back from him when school reopens. Anyway, we went to IMM. Talked a lot, straightened some things out, confided stuff, Vivien slept alot (She was so tired) but P, D & me kept talking anyway. Um, all I have to say is that, there were definitely troubles shared la.
I talked to Viv about a matter that happened quite some while ago. I couldn't take it; I cried. That hurt is still there and I feel that, I really want to make things change. I should have clarified this with _______ a long time ago, but AIYAH, a lot of things stopped me from clarifying it and V asked me a lot of times if I was certain what I thought happen, did happen. I couldn't give her a definite answer but I really go feel 80% sure of it la. I need to talk to _______, can't, don't, shouldn't let this affect us cause it's like a burden I carry. I can't talk to _______ as well as I could before, and I think ______ feels it too. Another matter that involves ______ troubled me too; but it's quite ridiculous and I feel so bad for feeling that way. Couldn't stop the tears from falling; felt so emotionally&physically drained. I don't want to fight with myself anymore.
I understood a lot of things from this camp; realised the standard I should uphold and the things I want to get done, realised I kept too many things within myself, realised I'm afraid of confrontation, realised that the free spirit that I was has become this person so afraid of the world, so much so that I hate myself, hate the person I have become, the fear that I have, I think I'm losing it.
God. He gave me infallible determination and for that, I feel immensely blessed. Because despite all the demoralising, the fear, the unhappiness, the depression, I am determined that I will make it, I can make it. I will accept no more failures. Mr Leow is right, (this pertains to studies) if we aren't going to start studying now, whenever are we going to start? I believe that I can do it, juggle both Council duties and school work. I want my 4 As but at the same time, I don't want to slack off on Council work. I have to have faith. Because if even I don't have faith in myself, whoever is going to have faith in me?
I was asked a question, or rather a statement: You love him, don't you. Truth is, I don't know. So helpless, hapless & frustrated that Im not able to control my emotions. So frustrated that it's true that I can't control everything in my Life. Yeah, I'm a bit naive and I would like to think that Life is all happy-haha but Life kinda proves me wrong all the time. Don't wanna care but I end up defending him all the time, time and time again. This is so stupid, it's so.. stupid. So stupid until its not really helping my current situation. Yet, the last thing I would want to do is to avoid him altogether because it's just impossible. I need time.
Yes. Doing the Oral Presentation script now. I'm going away for camp for four days. YES, until SATURDAY. so miss me, okay? :DDDDDD / Elwin is so lame. Carebears are asexual? Yeah, sure. HAHA. TAG REPLIES:
Daphne - relinked darl :DDDDD and they're not tinny fonts anymore! (:
Liw - you take care too alright! LOVEYOULOTS>
BENedict - yay! I know you found the ARASHI CD, hahaha. Blog more la you.
Liw/Glenda/YanQiu - thanks!!! HAHAHA. Liw you send me msg already no? :D YanQiu, yeah, it was fun! You should have came! HAHA. MUCH LOVE.
I have to admit, I've sunk into a deep pit of depression, whether I like it or not. There's too many unfinished things I want to do, too much exhuastion, I feel like I'm funneling back into the abyss of yesteryear. But I will go on. Because I have to, and I should.
I need to go out, you see. And face the sun and the world. And stop moping. Even through, I never succeed at doing so. Father, all I need is Your guidance, Your wisdom, Your forgive-ness and Your love.
I went for another doctor's appointment. It was fine, except that I need to go for another one, next week. How lovely.
It was a dreadful school day. Loads of people skipped school, lessons were boring (Well, when aren't they?) but, friends entertained me much :D I have to tell you, Stella's rendation of Maria & Beautiful Girl from 200 Pounds Beauty, is both hilarious and entertaining. She looked like a star with her antics and everything! The chair was her stage through, LOL, and I think teachers were staring at us from above. Thank God we didn't get caught, hahaha. Anyway, I watched 200 Pounds Beauty at Jia's house on Sunday, and it's a great show. The Korean guy's damn hot too! :D
Maria by the actress, no idea what's her name LOL.
Beautiful Girl.
BY THE WAY, HAD A GREAT 17TH BIRTHDAY, EVEN IF FAMILY WASN'T SUPPORTIVE -SULKS- I had four birthday celebrations/gatherings through, so it was still great. :D Loads of presents this year, thankyou to all who have remembered my birthday!:D LOVEYOUGUYSSOMUCH. MUARK. LAZY TO UPLOAD PICTURES (LIKEALWAYS) it's so troublesome can. HAHAHAH. ANYWAY, GOT BAD HAIR DAY, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME! SIGH. tired.
I visited TenjoStyle's blog like always, and besides the other Arashi nitbits I always revel in (:D) There was new about NewS. LOL. That looked weird. anyway NewS, has a new single!!! It's call Weeeek(Yes, four 'e's) and it played in Japan in a commercial called Russ.K, for some product I think. Anyway, it's lovely, and I'm addicted! There's CM(commericals) with different people of NewS in it, but I loved the YamaPi, Koyama & Masu one the most!
YamaPi, Koyama&Masu:
All:
Basically, it's the same thing, but who cares! ENTERTAINING (: There's others, but you can go source for them yourself! HAHA :D
4B gathering ytd was fun! Through I got diarroea today from eating all that half-cooked food. -.- FEWWWW people came and HQ and I were lateee. Not that few la, lemme think; KinLai, Fendy, Whitney, Yvonne, Benson, WeiLang, Leslie, Zheng Ming, Hong Wei, Melvin, Regina, Alvin, Yew Leong ... And that's it. Including HuiQing and I, of course.
I couldn't recognise Hong Wei at first sight, cause he stopped wearing glasses! LOL. And Yew Leong and I kept talking about health products, Regina and I kept taking pictures, Wei Lang kept trying to scare me with the live prawn and with his (usual REALLY ANNOYING tactics like boo!) voice-in-my-ear kinda thing (ARGHH. I haven't killed you for that, yet, you idiot). It's been three years, and we haven't changed, it's great :D
Melvin eats a lot, seriously a LOT. How does he remain skinny, I do wonder.. Alvin is still lame, Leslie still takes pictures (with a bigger camera this time), Fendy and I are still stressed over OP & Chinese A lvl (but he scored like AAB for promos, so whatdahell, smart), Zheng Ming's in the army (cause he's 20 already), KinLai and I still can talk about anything under the sun HAHA, Whitney is still cute (she lost weight thro (:) & Benson is still the same old arrogant him. Yvonne is still smily as always :D Hui Qing is still my bestbestbestbestestfriend, &&& that will definitely NEVER change, you hear? :D We've gone through too much together to let THAT change. We argued like non-stop in Secondary 2 & 3, like seriously everyday. But that changed through :D Can I say I love my class? 4b YEAH! Hey the others who didn't come, man.. You guys lost out on a lot (; Anyway, this is the first 4B gathering that I'm attending! HAHA.
Okay, I need to visit the toilet.
Sister ordered the Time CD, regular edition and some other limited edition for goodness knows what, and I want my Aiba pictures can? And my super-huge-ass ARASHI poster! <3s Sister is waiting for Ohno's uchiwa which has been sold out since goodness knows when. Hey, I want Matsujun's uchiwa ! My birthday is cominggggg :DDD It's tomorrow! I wouldn't mind, if I got,
1. iPod classic white 2. PSP slim white/pink 3. a new desktop 4. SIMS 2 - Seasons/Bon Voyage/Pets 5. ARASHI ANYTHING. LIKE SERIOUSLY ANYTHING. 6. AND ANYTHING ELSE, IM NOT PICKY. SO LONG AS ITS NICE! :D
Thank you all those people who have given early birthday presents to me! Especially N385 for the Hillsong CD (I love it!:D) and KinLai&Fendy for the Polo wallet! <3s
The birthday celebration for me by N385 was wonderful!! :DDDDD I was so surprised by it, I seriously thought we were going to play a game, haha. I was so happy (((((: Thank you guys soooooosoooooo much :D LOVES.
Which reminds me, BEN MUST LEND ME HIS ARASHI CD!!! YOU HEAR! :D Ok, will bug you when you get back from service.
I'm so so so so so so tired ne~~~~~~~~~~ Trying desperately to keep my eyes open. OMG.
Had fun today, after the facs' meeting, went to Losa's house, the Gang was there, shant name names, but some of you guys might know who :D Of course, my bestfriend (whom I havent seen in a while and miss alotalotalotalot, that stupid girl) LEONGHUIQING was there, which was a bit of a surprise, ahah! :D I missed her so much & there's so much to catch up now. That's why, we're going to crap so much over the weekend that it'd never end. Anyway, I went with Louisa & YX to Louisa(losa)'s house, mannnnnnn. GOSSIP TOTALLY RULES MY WORLD. oops. It can efficiently keep my awake. So the Gang got together, plusssssss JunHong (another old classmate I havent seen in forever) & we had pizzaHut for dinner! :D gossipgossipgossip partypartyparty, fun! :D Can't get enough of best friends for life (; It's really different with your closest friends and with friends that are kind of hi-bye sort of thing; it's really different. Miss those pigs, though I do see YX & Losa at school a lot.
By the way, Im promoted, smoothly. (: Yay for me. I actually managed to pass 3 H2s out of my 4 H2s and all my H1s. Thank God. I need to work harder, if only I didnt slack so much!Then I wouldn't have failed Math. LOL. Did quite well for Lit. Pride and joy, haha.
OMG. Im so tired. Life sucks? Take a pill? Tired of living by standards. Shitthosestandards; I live by my own. Chanced upon this Johnny's Entertainment meme. JE is a Japanese music group producing company. Gonna do it now. FOr fun.
Name Cherie Age 17 in 2 days! :D location Singapore Your favorite debuted group ARASHI, of course (: Your favorite Junior group Um, don't know much about them -.- Your least favorite group Kattun? Your favorite member MATSUJUN & none other. Do you support JE pairings? If yes, what's your OTP? NOOOOO. Cause I see them as friends, instead of otherwise. LOL.
Did JE make you poor? YES, VERY MUCH. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THE ARASHI TIME LIMITED EDITION COST? 100 OVER, YES, 100 OVER. FOR A CD. A CD. How do you feel when you hear nasty rumors about your favorite? I feel like slapping the source and screaming that Matsujun is the greatest. Yeah, he acts really royally annoying sometimes, but fame can get to your head you know! He's still nice (: Do you like to read JE gossip? YESYESYESYESYES. Of couse :D Do you want to go stalk/see your favorite JE boy? I would stalk Sho. I don't know why! WHYAMINOTSTALKINGMATSUJUNINSTEAD? What's your favorite JE-related TV program? Shukudai. It was funny! Loved the innovative food that Aiba would come up with, and seeing the shocked looks on some of the guests' faces! Also learn that Ohno loves all food, unsavory or noth (; Mago Mago Arashi was my weekly feed before it ended.. :( Waiting for GRA now. What's your favorite Drama? HANA YORI DANGO 1&2 (JAPAN), HANAZAKARI NO KIMITACHI E (JAPAN) Do you like paparazzi pictures? Not really. I do wish the media would stop hounding celebs, sometimes they DO need their own life you know. And that's why, I would never buy paparazzi Matsujun pictures, haha.
What's your favorite anime/manga(s)? NARUTO, BLEACH, DGRAYMAN, FRUITS BASKET, THE WALLFOWER, OURAN HOST CLUB, VAMPIRE KNIGHT, GOONG. Do you support Yaoi? Eh, not really. I kinda find it disturbing. What's your favorite Anime/manga pairing? It has to be SASUKE/SAKURA from naruto. OTP!
Any other fandoms besides JE and anime/manga? English Pop, Chinese Pop, Fahrenheit? What is usually in your Journal? rants, random stuff, arashi, life, whines, loves. Do you have rules when it comes to friending people? NOPE! Why should I? (: Anything else? I love Toma. A lottttttttttt~ (:
But because of that, I have managed to finish watching Hanazakari No Kimitachi E, like finally ~~~~ After 6 months, LOL. Enjoyed watching them at the same time as Ben, ahhaha. We were a bit lame, but we pesisted in watching them at the same time while we were both online and then commented like crazy on the MSN windows which were made to be super small sized by the side of the video windows. Subarashi ne~ Really was fun watching together. We're going to watch Hana Yori Dango too! HAHA. After he gets back from M'sia, that is. Yeahhhhh. Ben is lucky to be able to go on a break, :[ Have a safe journey!
UWAH. I feel sick. Seriously. But the doctor didn't give me an MC. :[ Man. :[
I love Toma. Happy belated birthday, dearest.
Oh yeahhhs. Happy birthday to EVAN too :DDDD Doubt she'd see this post thro, hahaha.
Sigh. Hey, made some personal commitments to myself today. YES. I prayed for God's wisdom and guidance. I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for everyone, that God will bless them always. I'm going to be true to myself & I should just stop moping around. I haven't been myself lately. ERGHHHHHHHHH~ COMEON. Brighten up Cherie. The world's not over. GAMBATTE GAMBATTE GAMBATTE! DONT YOU DARE GIVE UP. ARENT YOU GLAD ITS JUST PROMOS AND NOT A LVLS, DAMNIT? STOP MOPING!
:D Yes, I should be optimistic. Sigh. I wrote nothing but poems today.
Sometimes, life DOES seem a little meaningless. But like I wrote for myself before : MEANING IN LIFE IS FOR YOU TO ATTAIN, THERE CAN ONLY BE MEANING WHEN YOU WILL IT TO BE. ...don't you think so?
Thank you friends, for consoling me. I know, there's still a longer way to go. There's still a journey to take on, a path to lead, a life to bloom. It's just the beginning, ne?
A person who's not true to oneself, is pitiful and full of sorrow..
And I feel lost. AND ANGRY, sometimes. With people who assume they're always right and you must be wrong. Oh man, its tough. Balancing a diff lifestyle from yours. I dont know if I can take this any longer.
BUT its okay. Put on a smile, fake or not, and carry on LIFE as you should.
Not feeling well again, maybe that's why Im cranky today? Sorry bro&sis. AHAHAAH. BUT CELESTINE SHOULD STUDY. Physics is not an obstacle you're stuck with alright? You'd get pass it :D JIAYOU.
Why, do you think I should apologise to the whole world? I feel bad, but it doesnt mean I feel wrong (:
Sorry for the lack in updates lately, its because I have kinda shifted to Vox. It's lovely and I encourage everyone to go shift (teeheehee, and add me on your friends list!); only complaint I have is that its links system is pretty bad.
Therefore, it would be pretty hard to link everyone on my current link list at VOX and I would like to say that its really optional whether you wish to relink me, because I wouldnt want to lose you as a link-friend (:D) and I would still update my Blogspot occasionally.
BTW, finished ECONS paper today. Was okay, except that I didnt really have time to finish up the essays (major bummer) although it was 'somewhat' finished, which is equivalent to crap.
I know Im failing Math (Im not being pessimistic; I think I only managed to finish like in total five questions out of the fifteen super difficult questions) anddddd I have Geog H2 on Thurs and Lit H2 on Fri.
Then, Im free :D
Ohoh, taggers on my tagboard, sorry if I kinda didnt reply your tags for a while! My IE is kinda screwed and it doesnt show the tagboard sometimes; it just resumed operation a few minutes ago.
AH! For those who are still interested in reading about my (mundane&really boring) life, please head over to http://yunjing.vox.com.
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