I have to admit, I've sunk into a deep pit of depression, whether I like it or not. There's too many unfinished things I want to do, too much exhuastion, I feel like I'm funneling back into the abyss of yesteryear. But I will go on. Because I have to, and I should.
I need to go out, you see. And face the sun and the world. And stop moping. Even through, I never succeed at doing so. Father, all I need is Your guidance, Your wisdom, Your forgive-ness and Your love.
I went for another doctor's appointment. It was fine, except that I need to go for another one, next week. How lovely.
It was a dreadful school day. Loads of people skipped school, lessons were boring (Well, when aren't they?) but, friends entertained me much :D I have to tell you, Stella's rendation of Maria & Beautiful Girl from 200 Pounds Beauty, is both hilarious and entertaining. She looked like a star with her antics and everything! The chair was her stage through, LOL, and I think teachers were staring at us from above. Thank God we didn't get caught, hahaha. Anyway, I watched 200 Pounds Beauty at Jia's house on Sunday, and it's a great show. The Korean guy's damn hot too! :D
Maria by the actress, no idea what's her name LOL.
Beautiful Girl.
BY THE WAY, HAD A GREAT 17TH BIRTHDAY, EVEN IF FAMILY WASN'T SUPPORTIVE -SULKS- I had four birthday celebrations/gatherings through, so it was still great. :D Loads of presents this year, thankyou to all who have remembered my birthday!:D LOVEYOUGUYSSOMUCH. MUARK. LAZY TO UPLOAD PICTURES (LIKEALWAYS) it's so troublesome can. HAHAHAH. ANYWAY, GOT BAD HAIR DAY, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME! SIGH. tired.
someday's parting, someday's meeting the countless tears and heart throbs pile up I'm still waiting here (so I could, so I would, you know?)
surpassing words, in the depths of my heart it becomes unknown, something is born, a sound plays as if covering it up (so I dream on surely)
forever, from the gap in the stardust when we meet in a dream trembling, to the point my chest hurts the eternal wishes reverberate in time, the bittersweetness is like glass does it reach across (so I could, so I would, you know?)
forever, it reflects the promise I embraced the continuation of the dream, at that time it teased me, leaving far away, gathering light alone I closed my eyes (so I dream on softly)
so I walked without success, just like that day the only thing I looked at was over again my time right now it's fluttering on the windowsill (yes love is softly dancing upward woah yeah)
in the midst of the silence someday's melody the songless words and warmth flow even now it still rings out
surpassing memories, in the depths of loneliness the overlapping tones heal them, the scars on my heart as if resolving sorrow (so I dream on surely)
no matter where, it will connect the radiance when I lift my hands above my head endlessly, it flows into my heart the distant future as well beautifully repeats like ripples of water can you see it (so I could, so I would, you know?)
no matter where, it reflects the promise in the gaps of the dream I embraced them, soundlessly, these emotions drawing a rainbow, light overflowing alone I closed my eyes (so I dream on softly)
and the sky I looked up at alone that day all I sought was a song for me I want to see it, right now I want emotions alone (yes love is softly dancing upward woah yeah)
while nothing but vague things are wandering around the dawn's mazes even if the dream awakes I won't forget
forever, from the gap in the stardust when we meet in a dream trembling, to the point my chest hurts the eternal wishes reverberate in time, the bittersweetness is like glass does it reach across (so I could, so I would, you know?)
forever, it reflects the promise I embraced the continuation of the dream, at that time it teased me, leaving far away, gathering light alone I closed my eyes (so I dream on softly)
so I walked without success, just like that day the only thing I looked at was over again my time right now it's fluttering on the windowsill (yes love is softly dancing upward woah yeah)
sometimes i wonder, why will I stand up to make my Life more interesting than it is right now? Because Im so bored everyday, I just want to cry. Jiayou. Just a little more, just a little more. Just another one more year.
After A levels, Im going on an exchange program. Away from here.
he burst my bubble but the truth was, you were never like that anyway.
i dined at KFC with pearlyn, abbie, PT, vivian & junjie today, after the council meeting. i feel kind of nauseous after eating those cheese toritas. like URGH. and we gossiped a little to inject some panache into our lives, haha. abbie keep trying to fissure the pimple in his nose; it was totally disgusting but i knew it hurt a lot so i kept trying to tell him to stop it. but right now, im not really cheery-haha so can't think of much cheery-haha stuff to write about. and you know, i gotten new renaissance information recently, from a RELIABLE source. and i am flabbergasted and bewildered by some of these topsecret things that people keep in the deepest darkest recesses of their hearts. you would never have guessed.
today an agency called, and said that i was selected for some job attactment thing for potential manpower in their team, and it was about nanotechnology or someth? i cldnt catch what he said earlier but i heard nanotechnology so it's definitely science. but the weird thing was, he didnt even know where i was studying and what age i was? he said he wanted to CONFIRM some things but he just asked questions, like that is confirming? the poor guy wasn't even pronouncing my name properly. sounds fishy? what's even fishier is that I AM AN ARTS STUDENT. I don't take science. I mean, shouldn't you do background checks on your potential manpower before you actually call to interview them? I am flattered that before I have any job experience or even gone into university, a company has already called to hire me BUT this is too fishy. wayyy too fishy. so I'm not going for the 'interview' tomorrow. LIEK HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET MY NUMBER? weirded out.
you know, someth is bothering me. and everytime someone tells me someth about you, it just keeps getting worse. like you were never like that, never who you TRIED to be. and this illusion i have of who you were or are or werent or whatever, its getting screwed. really screwed. and i think, that maybe, i dont love you anymore.
i wish you would tell me things, but you chose not to, so that's that. but you can't say, that i didnt try.
because you're so vague and so unnoticed, and so like you wish you'd crawl into a hole and disappear kind of thing, and whereever you are, why do you give off that kind of vibe? maybe that's why i cant get into that head of yours. and i missed you most when you were gone.
you're so. unpredictable. and im so tired of trying, because what's the point anyway?
Thank you for remembering me. And thank you for being so damn nice. <3 i miss the 27th! You'd be in my prayers, always. XIJIE IS OFFICIALLY BACK IN THE STATES. Wah lau :( I called him before he boarded the flight and he sounded surprised, because he thought that I had called him alrdy. And I said NO! Must have been some other girl that sounded like me, LOL. weewoot. how many girlfriends does my cousin have, i wonder? haha :D Sigh. Everyone is overseas. Bring me along~
(If I had a choice on how my life will be, I want to travel with someone I love,
and take photographs of the myriad and the pretty, spreading the love of Christ,
near and far until the ends of the world!)
I ♥ God and God ♥ me!
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not unfriendly!!!!!!
Talk to me and I'd definitely talk to you.
Most people don't really get me but I usually get most people.
Economics is beyond fascinating. ;)
x
Family is ♥!
Best friends are ♥!
Colours are ♥!
The universe is ♥!
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16 October 2007
I have to admit, I've sunk into a deep pit of depression, whether I like it or not. There's too many unfinished things I want to do, too much exhuastion, I feel like I'm funneling back into the abyss of yesteryear. But I will go on. Because I have to, and I should.
I need to go out, you see. And face the sun and the world. And stop moping. Even through, I never succeed at doing so. Father, all I need is Your guidance, Your wisdom, Your forgive-ness and Your love.
I went for another doctor's appointment. It was fine, except that I need to go for another one, next week. How lovely.
It was a dreadful school day. Loads of people skipped school, lessons were boring (Well, when aren't they?) but, friends entertained me much :D I have to tell you, Stella's rendation of Maria & Beautiful Girl from 200 Pounds Beauty, is both hilarious and entertaining. She looked like a star with her antics and everything! The chair was her stage through, LOL, and I think teachers were staring at us from above. Thank God we didn't get caught, hahaha. Anyway, I watched 200 Pounds Beauty at Jia's house on Sunday, and it's a great show. The Korean guy's damn hot too! :D
Maria by the actress, no idea what's her name LOL.
Beautiful Girl.
BY THE WAY, HAD A GREAT 17TH BIRTHDAY, EVEN IF FAMILY WASN'T SUPPORTIVE -SULKS- I had four birthday celebrations/gatherings through, so it was still great. :D Loads of presents this year, thankyou to all who have remembered my birthday!:D LOVEYOUGUYSSOMUCH. MUARK. LAZY TO UPLOAD PICTURES (LIKEALWAYS) it's so troublesome can. HAHAHAH. ANYWAY, GOT BAD HAIR DAY, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME! SIGH. tired.
someday's parting, someday's meeting the countless tears and heart throbs pile up I'm still waiting here (so I could, so I would, you know?)
surpassing words, in the depths of my heart it becomes unknown, something is born, a sound plays as if covering it up (so I dream on surely)
forever, from the gap in the stardust when we meet in a dream trembling, to the point my chest hurts the eternal wishes reverberate in time, the bittersweetness is like glass does it reach across (so I could, so I would, you know?)
forever, it reflects the promise I embraced the continuation of the dream, at that time it teased me, leaving far away, gathering light alone I closed my eyes (so I dream on softly)
so I walked without success, just like that day the only thing I looked at was over again my time right now it's fluttering on the windowsill (yes love is softly dancing upward woah yeah)
in the midst of the silence someday's melody the songless words and warmth flow even now it still rings out
surpassing memories, in the depths of loneliness the overlapping tones heal them, the scars on my heart as if resolving sorrow (so I dream on surely)
no matter where, it will connect the radiance when I lift my hands above my head endlessly, it flows into my heart the distant future as well beautifully repeats like ripples of water can you see it (so I could, so I would, you know?)
no matter where, it reflects the promise in the gaps of the dream I embraced them, soundlessly, these emotions drawing a rainbow, light overflowing alone I closed my eyes (so I dream on softly)
and the sky I looked up at alone that day all I sought was a song for me I want to see it, right now I want emotions alone (yes love is softly dancing upward woah yeah)
while nothing but vague things are wandering around the dawn's mazes even if the dream awakes I won't forget
forever, from the gap in the stardust when we meet in a dream trembling, to the point my chest hurts the eternal wishes reverberate in time, the bittersweetness is like glass does it reach across (so I could, so I would, you know?)
forever, it reflects the promise I embraced the continuation of the dream, at that time it teased me, leaving far away, gathering light alone I closed my eyes (so I dream on softly)
so I walked without success, just like that day the only thing I looked at was over again my time right now it's fluttering on the windowsill (yes love is softly dancing upward woah yeah)
sometimes i wonder, why will I stand up to make my Life more interesting than it is right now? Because Im so bored everyday, I just want to cry. Jiayou. Just a little more, just a little more. Just another one more year.
After A levels, Im going on an exchange program. Away from here.
he burst my bubble but the truth was, you were never like that anyway.
i dined at KFC with pearlyn, abbie, PT, vivian & junjie today, after the council meeting. i feel kind of nauseous after eating those cheese toritas. like URGH. and we gossiped a little to inject some panache into our lives, haha. abbie keep trying to fissure the pimple in his nose; it was totally disgusting but i knew it hurt a lot so i kept trying to tell him to stop it. but right now, im not really cheery-haha so can't think of much cheery-haha stuff to write about. and you know, i gotten new renaissance information recently, from a RELIABLE source. and i am flabbergasted and bewildered by some of these topsecret things that people keep in the deepest darkest recesses of their hearts. you would never have guessed.
today an agency called, and said that i was selected for some job attactment thing for potential manpower in their team, and it was about nanotechnology or someth? i cldnt catch what he said earlier but i heard nanotechnology so it's definitely science. but the weird thing was, he didnt even know where i was studying and what age i was? he said he wanted to CONFIRM some things but he just asked questions, like that is confirming? the poor guy wasn't even pronouncing my name properly. sounds fishy? what's even fishier is that I AM AN ARTS STUDENT. I don't take science. I mean, shouldn't you do background checks on your potential manpower before you actually call to interview them? I am flattered that before I have any job experience or even gone into university, a company has already called to hire me BUT this is too fishy. wayyy too fishy. so I'm not going for the 'interview' tomorrow. LIEK HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET MY NUMBER? weirded out.
you know, someth is bothering me. and everytime someone tells me someth about you, it just keeps getting worse. like you were never like that, never who you TRIED to be. and this illusion i have of who you were or are or werent or whatever, its getting screwed. really screwed. and i think, that maybe, i dont love you anymore.
i wish you would tell me things, but you chose not to, so that's that. but you can't say, that i didnt try.
because you're so vague and so unnoticed, and so like you wish you'd crawl into a hole and disappear kind of thing, and whereever you are, why do you give off that kind of vibe? maybe that's why i cant get into that head of yours. and i missed you most when you were gone.
you're so. unpredictable. and im so tired of trying, because what's the point anyway?
Thank you for remembering me. And thank you for being so damn nice. <3 i miss the 27th! You'd be in my prayers, always. XIJIE IS OFFICIALLY BACK IN THE STATES. Wah lau :( I called him before he boarded the flight and he sounded surprised, because he thought that I had called him alrdy. And I said NO! Must have been some other girl that sounded like me, LOL. weewoot. how many girlfriends does my cousin have, i wonder? haha :D Sigh. Everyone is overseas. Bring me along~
.
Layout: Lost Days