HELLO.

It's not 21st November yet but I'm back(:
I really really missd this blog, HRMM, how should I say it?
It's like, a friend that I've always been talking to, but because of circumstances, gone.
There's that emptiness that is really hard to describe.

Through this prelim period, I've really thought about many things.
I've thought about my family, about how I really really love them but its at the crucial moments that they always disappoint me, but that's no matter, because your family will always be what its function is supposed to be, yes? Family.

I've thought about friends, there has been the irreplacable and the lost.
That's really how I split them up, groups, yeah I know, straight to the chase.
There's really no need to differenciate all friends, because that's what they all are: they're either your friends or they're not your friends.
Sometimes, its hard to tell. But I know who are those who have been with me through the tough times and those who weather down after the rain.
Oh well, this is life isn't it.
I'm really grateful to my JC, because of it, I've learnt so many things that I wouldn't have learnt otherwise. I mean it; it has made me stronger, more determined, tougher and most of all, I have learnt that status isn't everything, yes?
So, I have thrown away the shallow me in the past and realised that I don't fight for others, I fight for myself.
It would have been really stupid to have carried on in the way I did in the past but I'm glad this school has woken me up.
So yes, school and friends: they're not caused by each other but correlated definitely(:

I've been so much more braver to stand up for what I want; despite the setbacks.
I know my parents have different expectations of me; I know them and I want to live up to them; those expectations that have piled so high, climbing over them will be difficult.
I know my friends have expectations too. But I am glad for one group of friends, from which they accepted my every flaw, even when I was unreasonable and detestable; you know who you are, hontoni arigato.
In reality, without doubt, the person holding the highest expectations of all was I.
I was always in a delusion that the pressure is everyone else's fault except my own, until one day my best friend had enough and hollered at me, "Can't you see that you're the one piling on the pressure!"
True enough, she was right.
to be honest, this stress is what I need to keep me going or I'd won't do nuts.
So it has come to be a part of me, indeed....

After saying so much, what is it really that I want to say?
HMMMM.
Those invisible strings that have pulled me one way or another;
I'm grateful to them because they have shaped me.
I know now that I want to live my life, without regrets, as much as I can.
After all we all only have one life, ne?

After all that wondering, struggling and frustration, at last, I have
found it. The interest that has followed me all the way from elementary school,
LAW.

I think its great to have a goal;
despite all my finickering around and fingering with the idea of doing
economics, journalism, translation, politics,
i've flushed them down the drain.
there will only one and there will always be one goal for me, and for now, this is all that matters.

After all this going around in circles,
I would add: gambatte to all those people who think you can't make it and are on the verge of giving up or those who already know you're going to make it and that this will be your moment in the limelight, all the same, DON'T GIVE UP!

It is the last last last absolute thing anything anyone should ever do.


BECAUSE IM NOT GONNA LOSE and you aren't either:D

Goodbye for real now.



&I know what truly matters.


Lastly; watch Hana Yori Dango because it's the one thing that rocks my world every single time and again:D
The movie's coming out September 4th!
It would be the best best best super pre-advanced birthday present over.
LOVES.