ARGH! econs was disasterous! GRRRH. but i tried my best D: wrote until my knuckles turned red from the pain. i was seriously trying to rush two essays in half an hour, maybe that's why my hand hurt so much. GRARRRH. econs really isnt a last minute thing! i've learnt my lesson and I won't procrastinate for it anymore!
there's geography tomorrow. D: But I can report to school at 1 tomorrow hahahah. HM. but I might come early to help out with the morning duty.. UM. really depends if i can finish revising tonight! darn stressed out, like always. I'm so glad Econs and Math is over at least! They stressed me out the most, rawr. Math was okay but having Charleston in front of me makes me stressed! He's the type of person who can get As w/o studying , haha. But at least there were questions he didn't know how to do either so I'm not doomed :D AH. JC life is really taxing. But that's because I've been really lazy too. D: I consider myself blessed that I can attempt 80% of the questions w/o studying for Math the day before.
GR. enough of studies! I want to join NEmation but i need to find another member. Anyone interested? It's currently James and myself in the team so.. haha. anyone else is welcome!
I've been feeling restless lately. WHYWHYWHY? I wrote a huge WHY on my Econs revision notes and then, subconsciously it formed someone's name. URGH. Enough. Enough. Can't wait until the exams are over. Maybe this dry spell will disappear.
Friday :D
Song of the week :D Ai Otsuka - Cherish
this feels like a first love, so much that it's almost like fate
Today has been a good day. The best best service that I've ever went to. In so many ways, I have beeen touched by God. And the pain has gone away. To me, there is no greater God than mine.
I'm glad I saw you again today even if we just walked past each other. Because I think there must be a reason why my heart feels this way everytime you're near.
Life is defined as we live it. But it's so meaningless. Everything is. School, life, stuff. Today, a teacher tried to read my palm and she said it's too messy and she's can't read it. Yeah, I know my life would be real screwed up. I MEAN HASN'T IT ALREADY BEEN? If I had a choice, I really want to take a break. But I'm not going to blame anyone for anything.
Math is driving me crazy! I want so badly to do well but I'm so annoyed by so many things! And every mistake just keeps reminding me of how STUPID I am, DAMN IT. Sometimes, I really resent people who don't have to do any practice but naturally get As. I'm sorry that I'm being a total bitch because I feel like I'm going to scream at any moment. Sick of being sick of everything, sick of complaining, sick of still being stuck in this hell hole, WHEN AM I GOING TO GET OUT!!!!! It's even worse when the best friends are not by your side. It's just. Disgusting. The way people are such hypocrites and can still have the nerve to smile back at you. I feel nauseous, yuk. i think A levels would be worse. Sometimes, I just wish this would all end.
TIRED.
I never wanted to regret coming back to JJC and choosing this school over SAJC. I really never wanted to feel this way. But the truth is, a place where you thought it'd always be, it won't always be the same. It won't stay the same. I know there's no use looking back, no use in thinking what could have happened if I had stayed, if only I had stayed. The pastures always seem greener on the other side; it's a fact. Take Time as it comes.
Contary to some ideas, I am not rich. Yes, my parents do bring home a higher than average pay-check but so do thousands others, millions others. Money does miracles, but we don't have much of that. I'm proud of what my parents do but sometimes, I resent them for not being richer. For not being able to send me to Japan to study, for many many things that I aspire for. I want to apologise for being ambitious but I feel that they too are not adventurous and it IRKS me, because I feel stifled and contrained. It's not their fault; this whole place just traps me. But I thank them for loving me, and giving me all that I can so that I will never lack the necessities in Life. Thank you for sending me to England, China and Korea because I've learnt many life lessons there. But I also learnt that I want much more than this. For being so shallow-minded, surely there's something wrong with me. That's why I'm going to work hard, so that I will never lack anything.
To lean unto God, and to give him my burden, that's something I've always tried doing. It's not easy. I'm self-centered enough to care only about myself and as such, I tend to think that everything in Life is pre-determined by myself. What arrogant thinking! No, it is all guided by the hand of God, bless thee. Thank you for existing.
Something random.
Your Birthdate: October 15
You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things. You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle. Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home. You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak.
Your strength: Your intense optimism
Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents
everybody's got things that they had to leave behind; regrets that seem to grow with time. but there's no use looking back and wondering, there's only the future to look to.
YEAH THANKS HUH. THANKS FOR MAKING IT HURT ALL THE MORE. THANKS FOR SAYING THAT I'D NEVER WHATEVER BUT F WHATEVER IT IS YOU SAY, I'M GOING TO MAKE IT. WHAT DETERMINATION? YOU HAVE ANY? DONT MAKE ME LAUGH. BULLSHIT AND BULLCRAP, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR STUPID WORDS. SPARE ME THE IMBECILE COMMENTS, I DONT WANT TO KNOW!!!! its not just you, but a hell lot of other pple, including one nice little lady who said im not 'all that'. yeah, thanks. i know! BUT AT LEAST I TRY, DAMN IT. for your information, i dont really care about whatever that was. at least im willing to learn. so STFU!
this song made me cry, because im just so frustrated about all the stupid things this world has been throwing at me. yeah, thanks. did i mention that it's sung by Arashi?
PIKANCHI DOUBLE.
Romaji
Minareta machi nami itsumo no nakama ga hanareteku nante tabi datte yuku nante Jibun wo sagashite kodoku ni obiete tomo ni sugoshita saikou no taikutsu na hibi
Massugu ni me wo mirezu yurayura yureteru Sorezore no michi ni sasu hikari no nami wo koete yuku
Owatta hazu no yume ga mada bokura no senaka ni semaru kizamareta omoide ga sawagidasu Kagirareta ai to jikan wo ryoute ni dakishimeru semete kyou dake wa kienaide
Mawari wo ki ni shite mita me mo ki ni shite nani ga hontou ka wakarazu aruiteru n' da Nayanda riyuu wa wasurete shimatta boku no yuuutsu wo dareka tomete kurenai ka
Hibi wareta PURAIDO wo daiji ni shimaikonde Oogesa ni hanashiteta kokoro no sukima umete ita
Tomatta jikan wa yuugure bokura no mirai wo terasu nido to modorenai yoru no naka de Itsumademo kataritsudzukeru towa to kibou no uta wo tatoe ima dake to wakatte itemo
Madamada da ore ga tomaru tokoro ja nai kara Asahaka na aoi omoi wo idaite ita no ka Akasata na naratta koro kara 10(juu)nen ijou ka... Wakasugita "kono mama zutto" nante kangae
Ugokihajimeta ressha no naka ni itsu demo kimi wa iru kara Ano toki ano basho de mata aeru kanaa Shinjitsudzuketa hitomi no oku ni itsu demo boku wa iru kana Umibe ni saita hana no you ni takumashiku Zutto kono mama hikari yo bokura no mirai terashite Takaku maiagare
Owatta hazu no yume ga mada bokura no senaka ni semaru kizamareta omoide ga sawagidasu Kagirareta ai to jikan wo ryoute ni dakishimeru semete kyou dake wa kienaide
Tomatta jikan wa yuugure bokura no mirai wo terasu nido to modorenai yoru no naka de Itsumademo kataritsudzukeru towa to kibou no uta wo tatoe ima dake to wakatte itemo
Ugokitsudzuketa choushin to tanshin wa Furikaette miru to iya ni tankikan Akasata na naratta koro kara ima Orera wakasugita tada wakasugita
English translation (: The streets I'm used to, all my friends are going away We're starting on our journeys The best boring days we spent together Searching for ourselves, afraid of being alone
Wavering, unable to look each other in the eye We'll cross the waves of light, each on our own path
The dreams we thought were over are pressing at our backs again The memories engraved begin to clamor Holding the limited love and time in both hands At least for today, please don't disappear
Worried about the opinions of those around us, and about the way they look at us We walk on, not knowing what's important I've forgotten why I was worried Won't someone stop my depression?
I tucked away my precious cracked pride And filled the cracks in my heart with exaggerated talk
Time is stopped like the sunset Lighting our future in a world we can never return to We'll keep talking forever, the song of eternity and hope Even if we know it's only for the present
We're not there yet, this isn't where I'm gonna stop Was I holding on to a frivolous, youthful love? Has it been over ten years since I learned my ABCs...? I was too young, thinking things like, "it'll be like this forever"
The train's started moving, but you're always there inside Will I be able to see you there again? Am I always there in those eyes that kept believing? Strong like a flower blooming on the beach Oh light, keep shining on our future like this forever Fly high
The dreams we thought were over are pressing at our backs again The memories engraved begin to clamor Holding the limited love and time in both hands At least for today, please don't disappear
Time is stopped like the sunset Lighting our future in a world we can never return to We'll keep talking forever, the song of eternity and hope Even if we know it's only for the present
The big hand and the little hand kept moving Looking back, it's been a terribly short time From the time we learned our "ABCs" til now We were too young, just too young
Just now.. I came home, really late. My brother made coffee for me while I was eating my dinner. He wasn't very good at it but he really did his best. I waited for him after eating and guess what he told me? "Big sis, you can go up first.." I was so totally surprised. This was my younger brother, my scaredy-cat younger brother, I mean, he was always afraid to be alone. He said, "I don't wanna be scared anymore." And then, it just hit me. He's not a little boy anymore. My baby brother has grown up, changed, gone with the times. And I smiled. Probably the brightest smile I have smiled since.. I dunoo. And I told him, "Yup, little brother. You go ahead and grow up. You can always call me down when you need me." Then, I ascended up the staircase, knowing that I won't have to worry about him anymore.
I really love my friends, especially my family. Even through, sometimes, my family seems a little too distant, no matter what, I'd always have their support. My mum always said, " No matter what, no matter where, whom, or however whatever others perceive you, you come home and you'd always be our little girl." It made me cry but I appreciated my mother all the more, ALL THE MORE. Family above all, family above all. How long have Dada said that to me? How about God above all? Maybe I'm just whining but bullcrap, I really need to get this off my chest. Hey, you know what, if you don't care, don't ask. Just.. don't. Thank you Deepa and best friend for listening to my tears, thank you friends who kept on asking and never stopped asking because you care. I must have the best kind of friends in the world, because each and every one of you care about me so much, so matter how far away you are, so yeah, I'm blessed that way. Amen. Mum, Dad. Thanks for blessing me. I will always respect your decisions because you know best. I had enough of making my mother cry, I had enough of screaming matches with my dad, I had enough. From whenever forever, I will always always be your loving daughter. No matter what. No matter.
Me, myself. I. I'm a little too selfish, too proud, too fake, too cold to tell myself that I'm hurt. I'm hurt, damn it. I HATE HATE HATE all those words I heard. Wish it wasn't true. Yeah, I'm fragile, I'm weak. Just aim one word at me and I'm finished. Most likely it's because you're someone I treasure. Don't know if you'd understand. But I'd get up from this mess. I always do. I'm like the weed that refuses to give up, the weed that grew up knowing nothing but four walls and her parents, the weed that wants to learn but doesnt learn fast enough. But it isn't something that happened today. I've learnt that people can have two faces, just like how Dada can have one. I learnt that a smile doesn't equate to gratitude or joy. I learnt that I have so many things to learn. I won't fail.
I love my Dad. A lot. So whatever ANYONE wants to say about him, be assured that I won't forgive you. No. Please have some basic respect, whoever you are, for people you don't even know and moreover, for someone important to someone else. I'm very proud of him because there's nothing my dad has done to fail me. Saying such awful stuff, it all just reflects horribly on your up-bringing. One may say whatever you want about me but never, ever, speak about my Dad in any way because frankly, that's just so low.
Deepa asked me this question that struck me, HARD, "What happened to the Cherie that wanted to go to Cambridge? What happened to her?" Yeah, what happened to me? What?
Stand me now, old artificer, and ever in good stead.
I follow in the footsteps of many great people. But for many, greatness has a different defination. For me, it is those who had showed a resilence in what they do and achieved their dream because they worked for it. Likewise, I'm working for my dream. Because I have to live up to the greatness of all these other people, so that they can say and I can say, " I did it. I did that through sheer hard work." Do you understand? You don't have to. It's a shrewd world out there, more shrewd than you or I can imagine. To combat that, it is just to because as twisted as they can be. To change into a realist and to stop thinking that the skies are blue everyday.
I have to live up to others and to live up to myself. Can you understand that kind of pressure? It is not just proving others wrong, it is not just being greater or better than others. It is to fit into shoes that others prepared for you before you were born, to fit into shoes ten times too big for you and try to walk in them. Won't you trip? Won't you fall? I'm tired of falling down but I always pick myself up. I never give up, my perseverence is my plus point and I am PROUD of that. More proud than you can ever be. I have a lot of pride in many things; pride in being born into a wonderful family, pride in being a Lian, pride in the most mundane and trivial things. Pride in refusing to conform becuase I live Life my way, no matter what kind of crap you sprout. It is a sin to be prideful, but I don't think it's a sin to be proud of who you are.
Have you ever felt the urge to tear those shadows away from you? I have; many times. But they guide me and lead me and teach me like all the fathers, mothers, aunts and cousins of the world do. Everytime I go to one of these family functions, I see a whole bunch of faces both familiar and unfamiliar. All of them are great to me. All of them are precious to me. SHADOWS. They have achieved greater things in their life than I can imagine and they are important people both in their working and family life.
I will become one of them. Walking in shoes that used to be too big but which will fit me like a second skin. I will become someone I AM PROUD TO BE.
SUGOIII NE!~ Nino's English isn't as bad as I thought it would be after watching this clip of a new conference about the filming of The Letters of Iwo Jima. He's actually.. good. He can't really express himself though English but it will do. Anyway, I can understand him so it is perfectly alright! Ganbarre NINO!
Today, after the Ghosts of Rwanda screening by Ms P today, I felt that the world truly is unfair. it is a scary, horrible, sad place out there. The feeling of an identity can be a horrible, horrible thing! I felt this intense anger in me as I watched the documentaries, I felt that those international organizations who said that they would do this and that and this, in Rwanda, they did nothing. I was so furious that they chose to back out instead of staying there, furious that they could have saved more people yet they didn't. there was a narration by this journalist that struck me, smth along the lines of "This woman was appealing to as a woman to a woman, saying that she was scared.. but there was nothing we could do for them at that moment." The look on that woman's face.. It simply left me speechless. It was fear, false hope, belief, helpless-ness, pleading for help, begging for it, mixed with anger and bewilderment but it was the false hope that struck me most of all. I teared, not because I felt sympathy for her, but because of the injustice of it all, that they still believed that smth was going to be done for them but the truth was, nothing nothing was being done. I felt so down after the whole show. It does not mean that even if it happened a long time ago, it should be forgotten.. That's not the way it should be.
I read some kinda shocking stuff today about ARASHI. But heck, it is like some other ordinary day stuff that people would do. I mean, they are people too, ordinary, like you and I. Whatever they do is their own personal stuff and I feel that people shldnt pry. But yeayea, it's called the media for a reason, right? If there's a demand, there'd be a supply.. (IM GOING CRAZY OVER ECONS!)
I feel that my vocab is WAYYY too limited. Bla, I'm such a loser.. No matter how much I like to 'boast' (as much as Xijing likes to say that I do, for your INFO, I'm a humble person alright!) that I actually excel in English, I really am awful at it. Ms. P is right. My reading is despicably foul. For essays, I have NEVER followed the standard structure of writing. I can't even make a para, for love's sake. That still earned me my As in O level so I didn't really give a damn about it. BUTTT. It's A levels. So I've got to change! Nainai~ I have to be nonpareil ne?
I'm sick of doing things that I don't like but yet, I don't want to give it up. I have had enough of being indecisive.
Contrary to popular belief, I am actually very easily infuriated and many things gets on my gall. To put it simply, I'm easily irritated. I exceptionally hate people I don't know well calling me up in the middle of the night. Yes. Well, that's a certain weird peeve of mine. I much rather surf the net, do my homework or engage in a debate with my dad. If you're one of the few, precious people belonging to the family or the treasured friends category, you're more than welcome to encroach on my personal time and yak or yell away at me. I'm a very personal person, a little too anti-manythings at times. So, gomenasai if I sound really rude when someone calls me up at night. I'm really polite on the house phone through, because it might just be Itsuki who calls or one of Mum's many friends!
NINO IS SO ADORABLE, I SO HAVE TO WATCH LETTERS OF IWO JIMA AGAIN, ZETTAINIWA!
I wonder how best friend's big day went :D Can't wait to sit down with her and have a good chat. hopefully with boyfriend at the table too :D So that we all can have a good chat and get to know each other better!
WHENWHENWHENWHENWHEN AM I GOING TO HAVE TIME TO GO TO KINO/PAGEONE TO GET MY MONTHLY DOSE OF GLAMOUR AND ARASHI MAGS AND MANGA? WHEN!?
THERE ARE TWO SONGS OF THE WEEK :D Duran Duran's Ordinary World and Madonna's Hey You. they're both nice!
Hey You - Madonna
The Official Live Earth video!
but you must first love yourself
I am glad there are such things as Live Earth. To put it simply, I LOVE the song and the connotations because it will put so more much awareness in the global campaign.
LIVE EARTH, TODAY, AT 7 PM. MUST WATCH! I'm even wearing green at home LOL.
Please do go to this website. Although it's based in America, everyone can join in the fight by putting your name down on the website. ONE is nonpartisan; there’s only one side in the fight against global AIDS and extreme poverty. Working on the ground in communities, colleges and churches across the United States, ONE members ask America’s leaders to increase efforts to fight global AIDS and extreme poverty, from the U.S. budget and presidential elections to specific legislation on debt cancellation, increasing effective international assistance, making trade fair, and fighting corruption. You don't have to be American to fight against poverty.
US dollars are so pricey compared to S$ dollars D: I really don't like to spend money in US dollars because they always ammount to something really high, despite the fact that I am fully aware of it. It's cheaper spending Yen through cos 1 S$ dollar = 80 Yen. Spending S$134 on two Arashi DVDs.! it really is quite a pinch but BLA. I must do someth more worthwhile with my money likeeee.. donate to ONE.org. But like I said, US dollars dig a hole in my online budget D: Next month's allowance? :D
I'm really studying, Mum. Swear. D: We might be going to Taiwan at the end of year which is great because Arashi CDs are available in Taiwan (but not in Singapore!!) . URGH I think today is like the the only day this whole year which I have sat down at my table and read something intellectual, wow. I can't blame anyone for achieving Ds and Cs and an S because DUH, I haven't be studying!!!!! D: No motivation to do so. My dad was so so so mean! He was like ; I don't know you anymore because the Cherie I know works her ass off and you're just being a lazy bum! DDDDDDD; but I really am studying! Can't I take a half an hour break? SIGH.
Can't WAIT until the year is over. SUPER DUPER GOAL OF THE YEAR: Save $1000 So far in my life, I have never even saved $1 -.- so best of luck to me! I'm sure I'd be fine... just maybe $100 a month...? Maybe I should just save one shot $500 for two months and I'm done! BLA. quite impossible really.
Mum wants me to go on an exchange trip. YESYES, I want to too!! -BIGGRIN-
I always love Sho's rap, especially in Sakura Sake and We Can Make It!. He rocks in that field mannnn. It just makes him so much cooler, haha. AND AND why is Ohno always protrayed in that way, because he so ain't that kind of guy, LOL. He's a completel blur blur BLUR BLUR guy with a whimsical view on life and so not some sex symbol, RAWR. But it's okay :D Sakura Sake is a pretty old video I think, maybe from 2004, 2005, 2006? HAHA I don't really know. We Can Make It was made this year sooo.. they all look much more sophisticated?
was so pissed off today; give me a break!
didnt do any consultations today! WAITED FOR MISS LANG UNTIL 6..! then had to go home cos dad was calling D: anyways, i did call her but she didnt pick up. DDDD; i need tuition !
whoa oh!
im optimistic about everyth. im sure they'd turn out fine in the end (:
I have a lot of things to ponder over. What am I doing? Who am I doing all these for? Why, why WHY do I still hold on to all these irksome things? I'd like to say, it's all for me. I am doing this for myself, I hold on to them because I believe that I can do it, as much as I hate it (HATEHATEHATEittothecore) now, I still give it my best. Hontoni hontoni hontoni nani iten da you? WHYWHYWHY? As much as I tell myself not to be discouraged I guess I still can't help it. I love to excel, I really do, so what am I doing? Why can't I work harder? Why can't I did it like O Levels? Oh yeah, because A levels isn't like O LVLS. EFFTHATLOGICBECAUSENOMATTERWHATI'MGONNAACHIEVETHOSE'A'S.
Arashi August concerts. 1 - Miyagi 26th Aug Hamamatsu 30th Aug Hamamatsu 29th Aug Nigata 1st or 2nd Sept 1rst con Just one week in August, just one week. I need a break so let me go to Tokyo, please, Mum? I can't miss these concerts!
I'm going to Gwen Stef's concert with best friend on the 15th of Aug. So cool! :DDDDD
I'm buying the Time album of Arashi. :D That's like one sweater worth of a CD (: It's like $61.50 for the limited edition version. Nuuuuuu~ I must get it :D My dad will probably yell at me for choosing a CD over that Esprit sweater lol
GAMBATTE
We Can Make IT! -Arashi (a segment of it) We can make it true! Yuruganai yume wa itsumo soko ni aru Hateshinaku hiroi sekai, ima sugu ni tsukamitore
Your dream your dream, we can make it
Namida wa kitto kanashimi no owari de wa naku (yume no ashiato) kokoro atsuki (ima koko kara) sono sto-ri- hajimaru, sing that dream
(rap) Boku wa tadatada mokumoku to dream to kaite Mokuhyou to yomu, souzou no mukou mukou e to Go go and go de on and on (repeat)
MatsuJun starts off first, followed by Ohno, Nino, Aiba and Sho. Sho's rap rocks! :DDD It was UBER cool. There was an Ohmiya scene :DDDDD
Hm! It's been a pretty uneventful day. Besides the fact that there were a hell load of cars in the morning and I went out with Siewps and Vicky in the afternoon, it's been boring like usual. Someone inject some kind of panache into my life! Anyway, I'm like hearing MatsuJun's voice on the recorded radio now and that makes me happy so I shant whine anymore. How come his Japanese radio section features ALL english songs? I sort of expected there to be some japanese songs neeee~ Oh, speak of the devil, here comes an Arashi song :D
Promotes: Aozora Pedaru PV -Arashi
One of many videos by Arashi that touched my heart :D Features Sho mainly. MatsuJun has long-ish hair in this PV! Was surprised. Hmmm. Besides that, today I went to the library and immediately picked up this Japan Student Guide book and the thick paper file that came with it. Pretty interesting; is about scholarships and japanese education and the like. The nice nice nice librarian told me they are all free to take. :DDDDD Arigato. And all those times I went to the overseas education corner and never dared to take a single book out! LOL
I would like to take a degree in Japan and try out being independent for once. I told best friend about this yesterday and the YX-Lousa-Linda-FongLan gang this morning and they both had identical reactions, like "WHATTTT!" They were really worried for me and keep telling me that its dangerous and that I wldnt have them by my side so I might be lonely and really not safe etc etc. NE! I really really love you guys for saying all that (was incredibly touched, my friends are awesome ne?) so -BIGGGGGHUG- but I'm sure I'd be fine. I dont want to remain a sheltered child for the rest of my life, if I suffer, so be it, if I cry, so be it, if I come back a stronger person, then congrats to me. I chose this path and I intend to walk down this road. Maaa ne~ I don't know if I still intend to study in UK but there are other routes that lead to both yes? :D WORKHARDCHERIE It'd be hard but I'm already enjoying these infant steps towards the future. Something I set my sights on never escapes from my grasp.
Mama agreed to my foreign exchange notion! Yatta! :DDDD It won't be long now. Still loads of factors to consider through. I might actually be able to go to Tokyo next year, much sooner than I expected! <3 MUM. There's an Arashi concert in AUGUSTTTTTTTTTTT this yr, I wanna go :( And like shop at Ginza, haha.
I was studying this morning, on my table as usual and I saw these two lines, "wAkE uPp CaN? JiA YoU!" Well, they were written by Huilan, one of my 7seven girlfriends, on a sleepover two years ago while she was trying to teach me Trigo Differentiation because I missed the tuition lesson on it and I was falling asleep due to the fact that it was like 2 am in the morning. Then, I thought to myself: "Friends really make the difference." This is a little late for my seven girlfriends but I still want to say it all the same, THANK YOU. through everyth, through all, you guys have always stood by me, never wavering even when I was being cold to all of you, never complaining even when I probably owed you guys loads of things, never ever ever EVER EVER abandoning me. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. I really really do treasure you guys a lot and you guys probably have no idea how much I miss you all. I regret not treasuring our times together enough, eating together at recess, crapping about the most stupid things, hanging out, letting me cry on your shoulders, running from the teachers because we skipped assembly, hidding in the washroom, screaming with joy at our results, basically just being together. We were not the most docile of students but it made up for all the FUN THAT WE HAD. Remember 2a'04 days? Those were the best, ne? So, to my 7seven pals,
HuiQing : Hey bestie, 7seven leader and the person that became best friends with me on the first day of school 2003, you were always the most supportive. Although sometimes you were really grumpy, you always tried your best not to snap at me or to put all your frustration and anger on me. I would always listen anyway just like how you listen to all of mine. Of all the 7seven girls, I believe we quarrelled the most, laughed the most, knew each other the most and you were the one who saw me cry the most. I remember calling you up one day and bursting into tears and your shocked voice still trying fantically to calm to me, to tell me it'd be okay, everyth is fine. I miss you. I really do. Thank you for always being there, thank you for always remembering to give me a present on my birthday, thank you for always trying to cheer me up, thank you for being my best friend. I love you.
Huilan: Hey girl! I probably knew you the last out of all the other girls but I believe we clicked really fast. Rmb the Navin times? We used to talk on the phone so much and we became so close. You were always the one who would encourage me, the one who would tell me not to day-dream or not to slack off because I'm such a lazy lazy person. Thank you for writing on my table as well :D because it really has spurred me on. You know what, Huilan, I really have faith that you'd become a somebody with that somebody next to you. I really have faith that you will achieve all your dreams. Thank you for always being supportive, thank you for always trying to encourage me, always trying to do the best for me. Thank you for being my best 7seven girlfriend, thank you for being there for me. I love you.
Cherie Liw: Rmb me telling you that I really hated you at sight, because you had my name? And then, you said that you too. We were being so childish!! But look at us now. We're twins, not because we have the same name, but because we know each other inside out, and we were always the ones who would understand each others' thoughts. Ano sa, rmb the period of time in Yeah!zhuhe when all of us argued and I was being ostracised? It was a misunderstanding, and you knew so you were always the one who stood by me. You have no idea how much those words you said really kept me going during those days. The most childish, the most emotional, the most silliest and the most kind-hearted person has to be you, Liw. Rmb KOREA? WE STUCK BY EACH OTHER whether its on the streets, the bathroom or the hotelroom. RMB OUR SPREE ACROSS DONGDAEMON? You better not forget all those presents I gave you too! :D Thank you for always forgiving me for everyth and telling me to go on a diet because I'm fat(:D), thank you for being honest with me, thank you for stupid times, thank you to twin-sister days, thank you, thank you. I love you.
MONI: Wah lau. Those were the words we always said together! Thanks Moni for sec3, sec4 days when you sat by me and stuck it out together. Thanks for sticking by me and teaching my Maths although my stupid brain cant absorb it at all. Thanks for cracking all the weird jokes and the chirpy days! THANK YOU FOR BEING MONI. Rmb that you're my BESTBEST friend, yes??? I was probably the first one who went to your house as well, ahah :D No matter what kind of horrid things I said about you, you always took it in your stride. Thanks for being there for me, Moni. Love YA.
SIHUA: Hey president, principal and top student all rolled into one! :D Ano sa, if it wasnt for your consistent coaching in school and in tuition, I would never have made it into 3b, NEVER. You were NEVER selfish, you were always trying to teach me everyth that you knew and you were the most most MOST helpful 7seven member to me because our subjects were pretty much the same and Sihua was so good at everyth, ne? :D OMG, I miss you ALOTALOTALOT because I havent seen you in 6 bloody months!!!! WHERE WERE YOU GIRL? I know you're trying your best to live your dreams, I HAVE FAITH THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BECOME A FANTASTIC HOTELIER! I did think that as a 7-pointer and our school's top student it was a bit of a waste for your to go to poly but what the heck, I'm happy as long as you LIVE YOUR DREAMS. Thank you for everyth Ah Hua, Love YOU.
ZHUYIN: Hey Yin! You were our last member but who says the last is the worst??! That's bull-shit because you're one of the most hard-working people out there and the best too! I didn't spend the most time with you but I hope you realise that I love you all the same! I've seen the way you take life in your stride and I'm really proud that you did so and really envious that you can do so as well! JIAYOU ON STUDYING HARD IN PJ! Thank you for always always always never letting me down and being the most reasoning and logical person out there. Lao Yin! I love you!!
(If I had a choice on how my life will be, I want to travel with someone I love,
and take photographs of the myriad and the pretty, spreading the love of Christ,
near and far until the ends of the world!)
I ♥ God and God ♥ me!
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not unfriendly!!!!!!
Talk to me and I'd definitely talk to you.
Most people don't really get me but I usually get most people.
Economics is beyond fascinating. ;)
x
Family is ♥!
Best friends are ♥!
Colours are ♥!
The universe is ♥!
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31 July 2007
ARGH! econs was disasterous! GRRRH. but i tried my best D: wrote until my knuckles turned red from the pain. i was seriously trying to rush two essays in half an hour, maybe that's why my hand hurt so much. GRARRRH. econs really isnt a last minute thing! i've learnt my lesson and I won't procrastinate for it anymore!
there's geography tomorrow. D: But I can report to school at 1 tomorrow hahahah. HM. but I might come early to help out with the morning duty.. UM. really depends if i can finish revising tonight! darn stressed out, like always. I'm so glad Econs and Math is over at least! They stressed me out the most, rawr. Math was okay but having Charleston in front of me makes me stressed! He's the type of person who can get As w/o studying , haha. But at least there were questions he didn't know how to do either so I'm not doomed :D AH. JC life is really taxing. But that's because I've been really lazy too. D: I consider myself blessed that I can attempt 80% of the questions w/o studying for Math the day before.
GR. enough of studies! I want to join NEmation but i need to find another member. Anyone interested? It's currently James and myself in the team so.. haha. anyone else is welcome!
I've been feeling restless lately. WHYWHYWHY? I wrote a huge WHY on my Econs revision notes and then, subconsciously it formed someone's name. URGH. Enough. Enough. Can't wait until the exams are over. Maybe this dry spell will disappear.
Friday :D
Song of the week :D Ai Otsuka - Cherish
this feels like a first love, so much that it's almost like fate
Today has been a good day. The best best service that I've ever went to. In so many ways, I have beeen touched by God. And the pain has gone away. To me, there is no greater God than mine.
I'm glad I saw you again today even if we just walked past each other. Because I think there must be a reason why my heart feels this way everytime you're near.
Life is defined as we live it. But it's so meaningless. Everything is. School, life, stuff. Today, a teacher tried to read my palm and she said it's too messy and she's can't read it. Yeah, I know my life would be real screwed up. I MEAN HASN'T IT ALREADY BEEN? If I had a choice, I really want to take a break. But I'm not going to blame anyone for anything.
Math is driving me crazy! I want so badly to do well but I'm so annoyed by so many things! And every mistake just keeps reminding me of how STUPID I am, DAMN IT. Sometimes, I really resent people who don't have to do any practice but naturally get As. I'm sorry that I'm being a total bitch because I feel like I'm going to scream at any moment. Sick of being sick of everything, sick of complaining, sick of still being stuck in this hell hole, WHEN AM I GOING TO GET OUT!!!!! It's even worse when the best friends are not by your side. It's just. Disgusting. The way people are such hypocrites and can still have the nerve to smile back at you. I feel nauseous, yuk. i think A levels would be worse. Sometimes, I just wish this would all end.
TIRED.
I never wanted to regret coming back to JJC and choosing this school over SAJC. I really never wanted to feel this way. But the truth is, a place where you thought it'd always be, it won't always be the same. It won't stay the same. I know there's no use looking back, no use in thinking what could have happened if I had stayed, if only I had stayed. The pastures always seem greener on the other side; it's a fact. Take Time as it comes.
Contary to some ideas, I am not rich. Yes, my parents do bring home a higher than average pay-check but so do thousands others, millions others. Money does miracles, but we don't have much of that. I'm proud of what my parents do but sometimes, I resent them for not being richer. For not being able to send me to Japan to study, for many many things that I aspire for. I want to apologise for being ambitious but I feel that they too are not adventurous and it IRKS me, because I feel stifled and contrained. It's not their fault; this whole place just traps me. But I thank them for loving me, and giving me all that I can so that I will never lack the necessities in Life. Thank you for sending me to England, China and Korea because I've learnt many life lessons there. But I also learnt that I want much more than this. For being so shallow-minded, surely there's something wrong with me. That's why I'm going to work hard, so that I will never lack anything.
To lean unto God, and to give him my burden, that's something I've always tried doing. It's not easy. I'm self-centered enough to care only about myself and as such, I tend to think that everything in Life is pre-determined by myself. What arrogant thinking! No, it is all guided by the hand of God, bless thee. Thank you for existing.
Something random.
Your Birthdate: October 15
You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things. You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle. Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home. You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak.
Your strength: Your intense optimism
Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents
everybody's got things that they had to leave behind; regrets that seem to grow with time. but there's no use looking back and wondering, there's only the future to look to.
YEAH THANKS HUH. THANKS FOR MAKING IT HURT ALL THE MORE. THANKS FOR SAYING THAT I'D NEVER WHATEVER BUT F WHATEVER IT IS YOU SAY, I'M GOING TO MAKE IT. WHAT DETERMINATION? YOU HAVE ANY? DONT MAKE ME LAUGH. BULLSHIT AND BULLCRAP, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR STUPID WORDS. SPARE ME THE IMBECILE COMMENTS, I DONT WANT TO KNOW!!!! its not just you, but a hell lot of other pple, including one nice little lady who said im not 'all that'. yeah, thanks. i know! BUT AT LEAST I TRY, DAMN IT. for your information, i dont really care about whatever that was. at least im willing to learn. so STFU!
this song made me cry, because im just so frustrated about all the stupid things this world has been throwing at me. yeah, thanks. did i mention that it's sung by Arashi?
PIKANCHI DOUBLE.
Romaji
Minareta machi nami itsumo no nakama ga hanareteku nante tabi datte yuku nante Jibun wo sagashite kodoku ni obiete tomo ni sugoshita saikou no taikutsu na hibi
Massugu ni me wo mirezu yurayura yureteru Sorezore no michi ni sasu hikari no nami wo koete yuku
Owatta hazu no yume ga mada bokura no senaka ni semaru kizamareta omoide ga sawagidasu Kagirareta ai to jikan wo ryoute ni dakishimeru semete kyou dake wa kienaide
Mawari wo ki ni shite mita me mo ki ni shite nani ga hontou ka wakarazu aruiteru n' da Nayanda riyuu wa wasurete shimatta boku no yuuutsu wo dareka tomete kurenai ka
Hibi wareta PURAIDO wo daiji ni shimaikonde Oogesa ni hanashiteta kokoro no sukima umete ita
Tomatta jikan wa yuugure bokura no mirai wo terasu nido to modorenai yoru no naka de Itsumademo kataritsudzukeru towa to kibou no uta wo tatoe ima dake to wakatte itemo
Madamada da ore ga tomaru tokoro ja nai kara Asahaka na aoi omoi wo idaite ita no ka Akasata na naratta koro kara 10(juu)nen ijou ka... Wakasugita "kono mama zutto" nante kangae
Ugokihajimeta ressha no naka ni itsu demo kimi wa iru kara Ano toki ano basho de mata aeru kanaa Shinjitsudzuketa hitomi no oku ni itsu demo boku wa iru kana Umibe ni saita hana no you ni takumashiku Zutto kono mama hikari yo bokura no mirai terashite Takaku maiagare
Owatta hazu no yume ga mada bokura no senaka ni semaru kizamareta omoide ga sawagidasu Kagirareta ai to jikan wo ryoute ni dakishimeru semete kyou dake wa kienaide
Tomatta jikan wa yuugure bokura no mirai wo terasu nido to modorenai yoru no naka de Itsumademo kataritsudzukeru towa to kibou no uta wo tatoe ima dake to wakatte itemo
Ugokitsudzuketa choushin to tanshin wa Furikaette miru to iya ni tankikan Akasata na naratta koro kara ima Orera wakasugita tada wakasugita
English translation (: The streets I'm used to, all my friends are going away We're starting on our journeys The best boring days we spent together Searching for ourselves, afraid of being alone
Wavering, unable to look each other in the eye We'll cross the waves of light, each on our own path
The dreams we thought were over are pressing at our backs again The memories engraved begin to clamor Holding the limited love and time in both hands At least for today, please don't disappear
Worried about the opinions of those around us, and about the way they look at us We walk on, not knowing what's important I've forgotten why I was worried Won't someone stop my depression?
I tucked away my precious cracked pride And filled the cracks in my heart with exaggerated talk
Time is stopped like the sunset Lighting our future in a world we can never return to We'll keep talking forever, the song of eternity and hope Even if we know it's only for the present
We're not there yet, this isn't where I'm gonna stop Was I holding on to a frivolous, youthful love? Has it been over ten years since I learned my ABCs...? I was too young, thinking things like, "it'll be like this forever"
The train's started moving, but you're always there inside Will I be able to see you there again? Am I always there in those eyes that kept believing? Strong like a flower blooming on the beach Oh light, keep shining on our future like this forever Fly high
The dreams we thought were over are pressing at our backs again The memories engraved begin to clamor Holding the limited love and time in both hands At least for today, please don't disappear
Time is stopped like the sunset Lighting our future in a world we can never return to We'll keep talking forever, the song of eternity and hope Even if we know it's only for the present
The big hand and the little hand kept moving Looking back, it's been a terribly short time From the time we learned our "ABCs" til now We were too young, just too young
Just now.. I came home, really late. My brother made coffee for me while I was eating my dinner. He wasn't very good at it but he really did his best. I waited for him after eating and guess what he told me? "Big sis, you can go up first.." I was so totally surprised. This was my younger brother, my scaredy-cat younger brother, I mean, he was always afraid to be alone. He said, "I don't wanna be scared anymore." And then, it just hit me. He's not a little boy anymore. My baby brother has grown up, changed, gone with the times. And I smiled. Probably the brightest smile I have smiled since.. I dunoo. And I told him, "Yup, little brother. You go ahead and grow up. You can always call me down when you need me." Then, I ascended up the staircase, knowing that I won't have to worry about him anymore.
I really love my friends, especially my family. Even through, sometimes, my family seems a little too distant, no matter what, I'd always have their support. My mum always said, " No matter what, no matter where, whom, or however whatever others perceive you, you come home and you'd always be our little girl." It made me cry but I appreciated my mother all the more, ALL THE MORE. Family above all, family above all. How long have Dada said that to me? How about God above all? Maybe I'm just whining but bullcrap, I really need to get this off my chest. Hey, you know what, if you don't care, don't ask. Just.. don't. Thank you Deepa and best friend for listening to my tears, thank you friends who kept on asking and never stopped asking because you care. I must have the best kind of friends in the world, because each and every one of you care about me so much, so matter how far away you are, so yeah, I'm blessed that way. Amen. Mum, Dad. Thanks for blessing me. I will always respect your decisions because you know best. I had enough of making my mother cry, I had enough of screaming matches with my dad, I had enough. From whenever forever, I will always always be your loving daughter. No matter what. No matter.
Me, myself. I. I'm a little too selfish, too proud, too fake, too cold to tell myself that I'm hurt. I'm hurt, damn it. I HATE HATE HATE all those words I heard. Wish it wasn't true. Yeah, I'm fragile, I'm weak. Just aim one word at me and I'm finished. Most likely it's because you're someone I treasure. Don't know if you'd understand. But I'd get up from this mess. I always do. I'm like the weed that refuses to give up, the weed that grew up knowing nothing but four walls and her parents, the weed that wants to learn but doesnt learn fast enough. But it isn't something that happened today. I've learnt that people can have two faces, just like how Dada can have one. I learnt that a smile doesn't equate to gratitude or joy. I learnt that I have so many things to learn. I won't fail.
I love my Dad. A lot. So whatever ANYONE wants to say about him, be assured that I won't forgive you. No. Please have some basic respect, whoever you are, for people you don't even know and moreover, for someone important to someone else. I'm very proud of him because there's nothing my dad has done to fail me. Saying such awful stuff, it all just reflects horribly on your up-bringing. One may say whatever you want about me but never, ever, speak about my Dad in any way because frankly, that's just so low.
Deepa asked me this question that struck me, HARD, "What happened to the Cherie that wanted to go to Cambridge? What happened to her?" Yeah, what happened to me? What?
Stand me now, old artificer, and ever in good stead.
I follow in the footsteps of many great people. But for many, greatness has a different defination. For me, it is those who had showed a resilence in what they do and achieved their dream because they worked for it. Likewise, I'm working for my dream. Because I have to live up to the greatness of all these other people, so that they can say and I can say, " I did it. I did that through sheer hard work." Do you understand? You don't have to. It's a shrewd world out there, more shrewd than you or I can imagine. To combat that, it is just to because as twisted as they can be. To change into a realist and to stop thinking that the skies are blue everyday.
I have to live up to others and to live up to myself. Can you understand that kind of pressure? It is not just proving others wrong, it is not just being greater or better than others. It is to fit into shoes that others prepared for you before you were born, to fit into shoes ten times too big for you and try to walk in them. Won't you trip? Won't you fall? I'm tired of falling down but I always pick myself up. I never give up, my perseverence is my plus point and I am PROUD of that. More proud than you can ever be. I have a lot of pride in many things; pride in being born into a wonderful family, pride in being a Lian, pride in the most mundane and trivial things. Pride in refusing to conform becuase I live Life my way, no matter what kind of crap you sprout. It is a sin to be prideful, but I don't think it's a sin to be proud of who you are.
Have you ever felt the urge to tear those shadows away from you? I have; many times. But they guide me and lead me and teach me like all the fathers, mothers, aunts and cousins of the world do. Everytime I go to one of these family functions, I see a whole bunch of faces both familiar and unfamiliar. All of them are great to me. All of them are precious to me. SHADOWS. They have achieved greater things in their life than I can imagine and they are important people both in their working and family life.
I will become one of them. Walking in shoes that used to be too big but which will fit me like a second skin. I will become someone I AM PROUD TO BE.
SUGOIII NE!~ Nino's English isn't as bad as I thought it would be after watching this clip of a new conference about the filming of The Letters of Iwo Jima. He's actually.. good. He can't really express himself though English but it will do. Anyway, I can understand him so it is perfectly alright! Ganbarre NINO!
Today, after the Ghosts of Rwanda screening by Ms P today, I felt that the world truly is unfair. it is a scary, horrible, sad place out there. The feeling of an identity can be a horrible, horrible thing! I felt this intense anger in me as I watched the documentaries, I felt that those international organizations who said that they would do this and that and this, in Rwanda, they did nothing. I was so furious that they chose to back out instead of staying there, furious that they could have saved more people yet they didn't. there was a narration by this journalist that struck me, smth along the lines of "This woman was appealing to as a woman to a woman, saying that she was scared.. but there was nothing we could do for them at that moment." The look on that woman's face.. It simply left me speechless. It was fear, false hope, belief, helpless-ness, pleading for help, begging for it, mixed with anger and bewilderment but it was the false hope that struck me most of all. I teared, not because I felt sympathy for her, but because of the injustice of it all, that they still believed that smth was going to be done for them but the truth was, nothing nothing was being done. I felt so down after the whole show. It does not mean that even if it happened a long time ago, it should be forgotten.. That's not the way it should be.
I read some kinda shocking stuff today about ARASHI. But heck, it is like some other ordinary day stuff that people would do. I mean, they are people too, ordinary, like you and I. Whatever they do is their own personal stuff and I feel that people shldnt pry. But yeayea, it's called the media for a reason, right? If there's a demand, there'd be a supply.. (IM GOING CRAZY OVER ECONS!)
I feel that my vocab is WAYYY too limited. Bla, I'm such a loser.. No matter how much I like to 'boast' (as much as Xijing likes to say that I do, for your INFO, I'm a humble person alright!) that I actually excel in English, I really am awful at it. Ms. P is right. My reading is despicably foul. For essays, I have NEVER followed the standard structure of writing. I can't even make a para, for love's sake. That still earned me my As in O level so I didn't really give a damn about it. BUTTT. It's A levels. So I've got to change! Nainai~ I have to be nonpareil ne?
I'm sick of doing things that I don't like but yet, I don't want to give it up. I have had enough of being indecisive.
Contrary to popular belief, I am actually very easily infuriated and many things gets on my gall. To put it simply, I'm easily irritated. I exceptionally hate people I don't know well calling me up in the middle of the night. Yes. Well, that's a certain weird peeve of mine. I much rather surf the net, do my homework or engage in a debate with my dad. If you're one of the few, precious people belonging to the family or the treasured friends category, you're more than welcome to encroach on my personal time and yak or yell away at me. I'm a very personal person, a little too anti-manythings at times. So, gomenasai if I sound really rude when someone calls me up at night. I'm really polite on the house phone through, because it might just be Itsuki who calls or one of Mum's many friends!
NINO IS SO ADORABLE, I SO HAVE TO WATCH LETTERS OF IWO JIMA AGAIN, ZETTAINIWA!
I wonder how best friend's big day went :D Can't wait to sit down with her and have a good chat. hopefully with boyfriend at the table too :D So that we all can have a good chat and get to know each other better!
WHENWHENWHENWHENWHEN AM I GOING TO HAVE TIME TO GO TO KINO/PAGEONE TO GET MY MONTHLY DOSE OF GLAMOUR AND ARASHI MAGS AND MANGA? WHEN!?
THERE ARE TWO SONGS OF THE WEEK :D Duran Duran's Ordinary World and Madonna's Hey You. they're both nice!
Hey You - Madonna
The Official Live Earth video!
but you must first love yourself
I am glad there are such things as Live Earth. To put it simply, I LOVE the song and the connotations because it will put so more much awareness in the global campaign.
LIVE EARTH, TODAY, AT 7 PM. MUST WATCH! I'm even wearing green at home LOL.
Please do go to this website. Although it's based in America, everyone can join in the fight by putting your name down on the website. ONE is nonpartisan; there’s only one side in the fight against global AIDS and extreme poverty. Working on the ground in communities, colleges and churches across the United States, ONE members ask America’s leaders to increase efforts to fight global AIDS and extreme poverty, from the U.S. budget and presidential elections to specific legislation on debt cancellation, increasing effective international assistance, making trade fair, and fighting corruption. You don't have to be American to fight against poverty.
US dollars are so pricey compared to S$ dollars D: I really don't like to spend money in US dollars because they always ammount to something really high, despite the fact that I am fully aware of it. It's cheaper spending Yen through cos 1 S$ dollar = 80 Yen. Spending S$134 on two Arashi DVDs.! it really is quite a pinch but BLA. I must do someth more worthwhile with my money likeeee.. donate to ONE.org. But like I said, US dollars dig a hole in my online budget D: Next month's allowance? :D
I'm really studying, Mum. Swear. D: We might be going to Taiwan at the end of year which is great because Arashi CDs are available in Taiwan (but not in Singapore!!) . URGH I think today is like the the only day this whole year which I have sat down at my table and read something intellectual, wow. I can't blame anyone for achieving Ds and Cs and an S because DUH, I haven't be studying!!!!! D: No motivation to do so. My dad was so so so mean! He was like ; I don't know you anymore because the Cherie I know works her ass off and you're just being a lazy bum! DDDDDDD; but I really am studying! Can't I take a half an hour break? SIGH.
Can't WAIT until the year is over. SUPER DUPER GOAL OF THE YEAR: Save $1000 So far in my life, I have never even saved $1 -.- so best of luck to me! I'm sure I'd be fine... just maybe $100 a month...? Maybe I should just save one shot $500 for two months and I'm done! BLA. quite impossible really.
Mum wants me to go on an exchange trip. YESYES, I want to too!! -BIGGRIN-
I always love Sho's rap, especially in Sakura Sake and We Can Make It!. He rocks in that field mannnn. It just makes him so much cooler, haha. AND AND why is Ohno always protrayed in that way, because he so ain't that kind of guy, LOL. He's a completel blur blur BLUR BLUR guy with a whimsical view on life and so not some sex symbol, RAWR. But it's okay :D Sakura Sake is a pretty old video I think, maybe from 2004, 2005, 2006? HAHA I don't really know. We Can Make It was made this year sooo.. they all look much more sophisticated?
was so pissed off today; give me a break!
didnt do any consultations today! WAITED FOR MISS LANG UNTIL 6..! then had to go home cos dad was calling D: anyways, i did call her but she didnt pick up. DDDD; i need tuition !
whoa oh!
im optimistic about everyth. im sure they'd turn out fine in the end (:
I have a lot of things to ponder over. What am I doing? Who am I doing all these for? Why, why WHY do I still hold on to all these irksome things? I'd like to say, it's all for me. I am doing this for myself, I hold on to them because I believe that I can do it, as much as I hate it (HATEHATEHATEittothecore) now, I still give it my best. Hontoni hontoni hontoni nani iten da you? WHYWHYWHY? As much as I tell myself not to be discouraged I guess I still can't help it. I love to excel, I really do, so what am I doing? Why can't I work harder? Why can't I did it like O Levels? Oh yeah, because A levels isn't like O LVLS. EFFTHATLOGICBECAUSENOMATTERWHATI'MGONNAACHIEVETHOSE'A'S.
Arashi August concerts. 1 - Miyagi 26th Aug Hamamatsu 30th Aug Hamamatsu 29th Aug Nigata 1st or 2nd Sept 1rst con Just one week in August, just one week. I need a break so let me go to Tokyo, please, Mum? I can't miss these concerts!
I'm going to Gwen Stef's concert with best friend on the 15th of Aug. So cool! :DDDDD
I'm buying the Time album of Arashi. :D That's like one sweater worth of a CD (: It's like $61.50 for the limited edition version. Nuuuuuu~ I must get it :D My dad will probably yell at me for choosing a CD over that Esprit sweater lol
GAMBATTE
We Can Make IT! -Arashi (a segment of it) We can make it true! Yuruganai yume wa itsumo soko ni aru Hateshinaku hiroi sekai, ima sugu ni tsukamitore
Your dream your dream, we can make it
Namida wa kitto kanashimi no owari de wa naku (yume no ashiato) kokoro atsuki (ima koko kara) sono sto-ri- hajimaru, sing that dream
(rap) Boku wa tadatada mokumoku to dream to kaite Mokuhyou to yomu, souzou no mukou mukou e to Go go and go de on and on (repeat)
MatsuJun starts off first, followed by Ohno, Nino, Aiba and Sho. Sho's rap rocks! :DDD It was UBER cool. There was an Ohmiya scene :DDDDD
Hm! It's been a pretty uneventful day. Besides the fact that there were a hell load of cars in the morning and I went out with Siewps and Vicky in the afternoon, it's been boring like usual. Someone inject some kind of panache into my life! Anyway, I'm like hearing MatsuJun's voice on the recorded radio now and that makes me happy so I shant whine anymore. How come his Japanese radio section features ALL english songs? I sort of expected there to be some japanese songs neeee~ Oh, speak of the devil, here comes an Arashi song :D
Promotes: Aozora Pedaru PV -Arashi
One of many videos by Arashi that touched my heart :D Features Sho mainly. MatsuJun has long-ish hair in this PV! Was surprised. Hmmm. Besides that, today I went to the library and immediately picked up this Japan Student Guide book and the thick paper file that came with it. Pretty interesting; is about scholarships and japanese education and the like. The nice nice nice librarian told me they are all free to take. :DDDDD Arigato. And all those times I went to the overseas education corner and never dared to take a single book out! LOL
I would like to take a degree in Japan and try out being independent for once. I told best friend about this yesterday and the YX-Lousa-Linda-FongLan gang this morning and they both had identical reactions, like "WHATTTT!" They were really worried for me and keep telling me that its dangerous and that I wldnt have them by my side so I might be lonely and really not safe etc etc. NE! I really really love you guys for saying all that (was incredibly touched, my friends are awesome ne?) so -BIGGGGGHUG- but I'm sure I'd be fine. I dont want to remain a sheltered child for the rest of my life, if I suffer, so be it, if I cry, so be it, if I come back a stronger person, then congrats to me. I chose this path and I intend to walk down this road. Maaa ne~ I don't know if I still intend to study in UK but there are other routes that lead to both yes? :D WORKHARDCHERIE It'd be hard but I'm already enjoying these infant steps towards the future. Something I set my sights on never escapes from my grasp.
Mama agreed to my foreign exchange notion! Yatta! :DDDD It won't be long now. Still loads of factors to consider through. I might actually be able to go to Tokyo next year, much sooner than I expected! <3 MUM. There's an Arashi concert in AUGUSTTTTTTTTTTT this yr, I wanna go :( And like shop at Ginza, haha.
I was studying this morning, on my table as usual and I saw these two lines, "wAkE uPp CaN? JiA YoU!" Well, they were written by Huilan, one of my 7seven girlfriends, on a sleepover two years ago while she was trying to teach me Trigo Differentiation because I missed the tuition lesson on it and I was falling asleep due to the fact that it was like 2 am in the morning. Then, I thought to myself: "Friends really make the difference." This is a little late for my seven girlfriends but I still want to say it all the same, THANK YOU. through everyth, through all, you guys have always stood by me, never wavering even when I was being cold to all of you, never complaining even when I probably owed you guys loads of things, never ever ever EVER EVER abandoning me. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. I really really do treasure you guys a lot and you guys probably have no idea how much I miss you all. I regret not treasuring our times together enough, eating together at recess, crapping about the most stupid things, hanging out, letting me cry on your shoulders, running from the teachers because we skipped assembly, hidding in the washroom, screaming with joy at our results, basically just being together. We were not the most docile of students but it made up for all the FUN THAT WE HAD. Remember 2a'04 days? Those were the best, ne? So, to my 7seven pals,
HuiQing : Hey bestie, 7seven leader and the person that became best friends with me on the first day of school 2003, you were always the most supportive. Although sometimes you were really grumpy, you always tried your best not to snap at me or to put all your frustration and anger on me. I would always listen anyway just like how you listen to all of mine. Of all the 7seven girls, I believe we quarrelled the most, laughed the most, knew each other the most and you were the one who saw me cry the most. I remember calling you up one day and bursting into tears and your shocked voice still trying fantically to calm to me, to tell me it'd be okay, everyth is fine. I miss you. I really do. Thank you for always being there, thank you for always remembering to give me a present on my birthday, thank you for always trying to cheer me up, thank you for being my best friend. I love you.
Huilan: Hey girl! I probably knew you the last out of all the other girls but I believe we clicked really fast. Rmb the Navin times? We used to talk on the phone so much and we became so close. You were always the one who would encourage me, the one who would tell me not to day-dream or not to slack off because I'm such a lazy lazy person. Thank you for writing on my table as well :D because it really has spurred me on. You know what, Huilan, I really have faith that you'd become a somebody with that somebody next to you. I really have faith that you will achieve all your dreams. Thank you for always being supportive, thank you for always trying to encourage me, always trying to do the best for me. Thank you for being my best 7seven girlfriend, thank you for being there for me. I love you.
Cherie Liw: Rmb me telling you that I really hated you at sight, because you had my name? And then, you said that you too. We were being so childish!! But look at us now. We're twins, not because we have the same name, but because we know each other inside out, and we were always the ones who would understand each others' thoughts. Ano sa, rmb the period of time in Yeah!zhuhe when all of us argued and I was being ostracised? It was a misunderstanding, and you knew so you were always the one who stood by me. You have no idea how much those words you said really kept me going during those days. The most childish, the most emotional, the most silliest and the most kind-hearted person has to be you, Liw. Rmb KOREA? WE STUCK BY EACH OTHER whether its on the streets, the bathroom or the hotelroom. RMB OUR SPREE ACROSS DONGDAEMON? You better not forget all those presents I gave you too! :D Thank you for always forgiving me for everyth and telling me to go on a diet because I'm fat(:D), thank you for being honest with me, thank you for stupid times, thank you to twin-sister days, thank you, thank you. I love you.
MONI: Wah lau. Those were the words we always said together! Thanks Moni for sec3, sec4 days when you sat by me and stuck it out together. Thanks for sticking by me and teaching my Maths although my stupid brain cant absorb it at all. Thanks for cracking all the weird jokes and the chirpy days! THANK YOU FOR BEING MONI. Rmb that you're my BESTBEST friend, yes??? I was probably the first one who went to your house as well, ahah :D No matter what kind of horrid things I said about you, you always took it in your stride. Thanks for being there for me, Moni. Love YA.
SIHUA: Hey president, principal and top student all rolled into one! :D Ano sa, if it wasnt for your consistent coaching in school and in tuition, I would never have made it into 3b, NEVER. You were NEVER selfish, you were always trying to teach me everyth that you knew and you were the most most MOST helpful 7seven member to me because our subjects were pretty much the same and Sihua was so good at everyth, ne? :D OMG, I miss you ALOTALOTALOT because I havent seen you in 6 bloody months!!!! WHERE WERE YOU GIRL? I know you're trying your best to live your dreams, I HAVE FAITH THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BECOME A FANTASTIC HOTELIER! I did think that as a 7-pointer and our school's top student it was a bit of a waste for your to go to poly but what the heck, I'm happy as long as you LIVE YOUR DREAMS. Thank you for everyth Ah Hua, Love YOU.
ZHUYIN: Hey Yin! You were our last member but who says the last is the worst??! That's bull-shit because you're one of the most hard-working people out there and the best too! I didn't spend the most time with you but I hope you realise that I love you all the same! I've seen the way you take life in your stride and I'm really proud that you did so and really envious that you can do so as well! JIAYOU ON STUDYING HARD IN PJ! Thank you for always always always never letting me down and being the most reasoning and logical person out there. Lao Yin! I love you!!
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