I'm SO SO SO superficial
expensive things make me happy :D

i felt rather depressed today.
sometimes I think I'm freaking dumb.
I mean like i alrdy knew or guessed about some things I DONT WANT TO HEAR.
I'm a scary person.
but it's still okay because that wldnt turn my SMILE down.
too early too soon.
YOU would never have guessed.

yesyes. i did LOADS of stupid things today.
haa. typical school day ya.
HOW COME IM ALWAYS EMBARASSING MYSELF IN SCHOOL?
this never happens to me when I'm out of school.
RAH. school is a jinx.

i dont want to speak singlish!
A soooo pointed out to me that my diction is failing me.
ARGH.

im so glad tomorrow is labour day.
i wld get to chat on the overseas line to AT all day long! no frills! :D

I think I'm going to travel the world again this JUNE hols.
:D
provided Dad agrees to let me go to HK with my friends!
anddddddd. thailand to visit bee-jie.
Maybe somewhere really far too :D
Must make good use of holidays to get more exposure to the outside world.
Having relatives all over the world helps too.
I think I'm ridiculously blessed. :D

I never imagined I would enter the hospital as a patient..
I retched again this morning and the freaking painkiller is not helping!
RAH.
Still, I didnt let this stupid thing get the better of me and I went with Hema to service this morning!
Actually, I woke up late and I had 10 missed calls.
So sorry, darhling! I made her wait for me. D: AM GUILTY.
-knocks head on wall- All because I was lazy last night and assumed that the alarm clock was set to 7.
Anyway, it was a great service! Had lunch at Changi Airport with XiaoWei and the others; food service was damn bad.
I've never seen worse food service at any restaurants anywhere, even in Thailand.
Will not return, that's for sure. ><

Anyway, I think I was so violently against delinquents (and all the other stupid things that youths do to 'make the most of their lives') so much that Peter and Ben said that I sounded like a future Parliament speaker. HAHA.
Eh, I think I was letting my temper get the better of me.
Walked Heeren BUT COULD NOT FIND MY HAIRBAND ANYWHERE! D:
therefore, it was quite a wasted trip (when I could have gone home and studied too).
was sad but met Siyuan at the road cross and it really brightened my day! HAHA.
she was with someone usual. ;)
Saw a lot of potential things I will buy.
There goes the allowance.

I missed HQ so much, so much that we had an impromptu meet-up last night!
I told her about my sorry excuse of a life and how much I've been studying (trying to study I mean) and the various distractions.
Finally, I knew we would spend money and by the end of the day, I'm left with $12, out of my original $55.
I HAVE HORRIBLE MONEY MANAGEMENT. D:
Althro when I went home I got screamed at (because I was still sick, I mean I immediately retched again like half an hour after meet-up), partly because I'm half-broke again.
And I realise how fast money goes down the drain, therefore, I must be careful.
I buy a lot of unnecessary things, horrible habit I picked up from shopping in UK.




FAITH. :D

I LOVE YOU, MY BEST FRIENDS.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU ALL.

Been rather moody of late.
Yes, yes, some of you know why. ;(
YOU don't, of course.
It's like I can't talk to YOU anymore because you're always surrounded by people.
Yea,yea, I know people just like being around YOU.
but what about me?
D:

i need to study.




Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Keep holding on
Keep holding on

There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Why do I feel like I don't know you anymore?
How dangerous can that be?
I thought we were supposed to be best friends?
Yes, I guess its my fault because I can never meet up with you anymore.
I didnt have to look away to know that I'm losing touch with ALL my friends.
I thought this friendship is till the end.
Look, look, what happened to that now.

crumbling as the scaffolding falls.

I think too much about things I shldnt think about.
The bloody mess I'm getting myself into.
When someone doesnt even know, that feeling is worse.
I need to get a grip.

I think I treasure my family a lot after camp.
Like I thank my maid for cooking dinner (when I didnt really care before), I thank my sister for making smth for me, I thank my brother for letting me cross first and I thank my parents for.. being such great parents (no matter what I say).
I'm really proud of my Mum cos I think she's really brave?
There are so many things I dont know about her but all these things are wonderful things that I don't think I could have pulled off on my own.
I don't know what everyone in my family sees about me that is like my mother (my temper maybe?) but I do hope that it's good things. :D
She has gone around the world on her own and survived so many extreme conditions.
My mum is really a great person and I'm proud of her.

Only once in the morning, its not enough for me.
Do you even realise?

How to explain how you really despised someone before but right now, you're great friends?
Haha, describes me and CK quite well.
I mean I dont like not liking someone, I generally like everyone, but I used to despise CK because he talked odd stuff to me.
Haha, bad excuse.
But today, I realised that that's so over because he's really such a nice person!
Proves that even I am not invulnerable to sins of the heart, as much as I would like to be.

Oh, recently someone has been getting on my nerves.
I try to be nice and all and I smile all the time, I'm really trying my best.
But I don't know why that person is still the same.
URGH. i've had enough.
I cant be patient forever and I'm sorry but you're just so insufferable.
I wish it didnt turn out this way but it did.
I heard so many many many horrible things about you but I didnt believe them at all, even if they came from my bestest of friends.
I don't know what you have against me and it's really upsetting la.
URGH.
I can't handle things like this because I just don't like it.
V says I'm too peaceful. x(((

Today is such a horrible day.
I asleep at BMTC.
The food was good through. :D It's good news for my brother.

-quietsigh-

I'm back from camp!
Well, I dont rmb any sad parts, only the happy, fun moments :D
That's what really good about my memory. I always forget the unhappy bits. XDD
ARGH. my leg is full of sandfly and mosquito bites.
RAWR, should have put more insect repellent la.
totally exasperated .

I had my first NTU attachment today about Journalism studies.
The professor was really nice to us and told us we can expect to work as interns until next year.
I was so 'OMG, that's so cool !'
PLUS, we're working on an online project and like my name and Vicky's are up there in BIG BLOCK LETTERS listed under: Research Interns from Jurong Junior College. RAWR.
total WOW factor.
When the webbie is done, I'd definitely link it up to here :D
It's going to be so big because its about the world and there will be a press conference around June .
Im so excited! I've always wanted to be a jounalist and this is like my ultimate dream.
XD
okay, im rambling, i know.

Nadya, Vicky and myself went to hang out at JP for a while.
Told them about stuff and why I was ostracised in the past cos of my weird accent.
Bla, I still have a bit of that talk.
XD but I still love UK la.
Told them how my bag got stolen last year at Piccadilly Circus . haha.
well, that's that.
Ate Subway, yummy!

I miss HQ loads. :(


Tell The World That Jesus Lives. :D

It's 1.24 am now so what I'm going to say is not today but about yesterday.
Yesterday, some pompous arse ruined my day. It was SO freaking horrendous.
Oh puh-leaaase. I wanted to say to his face: You're like so whatever. :D
But I couldnt because of some blatantly obvious reason. Blah.
Frankly, I was enraged.
I think my friends wanted to slap him. HAHA.

i miss dad already. D:
he's going away tmr.
on business.
boo.
):

Still mugging :D



Lord, I'm glad I'm not alone because you're always with me.

I really wish my JC life would come to a pass.

I know I am being selfish, I know you don't believe in God.
But I do, do you have to insult that?
How would you know that I dont care because you ASSUME so.
I really dont care about your fucked up lives and the constant mantra of money money money because even your love is measured by money.
I will give you all the money you desire but I ask; in death, does it even matter?
Who cares if you are bloody filthy rich because I dont.
I hate it when you talk about money like its your life.
Dont threaten not to include me in your will, I DONT FUCKING CARE.
I've learned to listen to myself and I will work for myself.
Dont give me an ounce of your money because I dont want to touch one cent of that damned money, ever.

I regret that I still rely on you for my expenses.
But don't worry, its just for another year.
I cant even take a taxi or indulge in what I want.
Because you wanted me to go to SA, I listened and I am glad I turned back to listen to myself.
Because you never got into what you want, you want me out of what I love.
That is what I call selfish, my dearest.
You say things in a fit of anger but I say when a man threatens to murder another yet changes his mind, is it still not a motive?
You try to mould me into a image of you but that's not what I am going to be.
Like no other parents, you never ask if I'm surviving but instead you scream at me that moment I appear and demand that I stop going for service.
WTF, who gave you the right to dictate my life.
I have respected your will and only this once, is it also a crime?
Your predigices are not my bias, your tinted glasses does not stain my own eyes, your failures are not mine, your voice does not mean that I have to echo.
Have you forgotten that you lead by example?
Some kind of examples they are.

Do not laugh at my fear and I will not curl in contempt of yours.
Do not abhor my faith because I will detest yours.
Do not scream because inside, my heart shouts.

It is you, turning my life upside down.
But don't worry, I will become my own person, my own perlation, lack of your imbroglios and all of your inertial gaucherie.

NOWAY! Z IS IN MY SCHOOL!
OMGGGGG! LIKE HI!!!

Addicted to Girlfriend by Avril. XD
"She's like so whatever."

Had hall rally today. Not too bad!

Need to rush homework. Im badly BEHIND.
Bad bad bad attitude.
I need to study!

Miss P says I have Americanized English.
WTH. I don't even slur.
I have good English English, alright.

I found this awesome Literature text.
It is so literally gorgeous, I need to buy it.
HAHA.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS SONG.
Thanks to JO who sent it to me.


Mighty To Save - Hillsong

Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a saviour
The hope of nations

Chorus:

Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus Conquered the grave

Verse 2:

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I Surrender
Shine your light and
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus Shine your light and
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen King

Chorus:
Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus Conquered the grave

Outro:
Shine your light and
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus Shine your light and
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen King





FOR GLORY. :D

I have very mixed emotions today.
Im happy but sad?
I love my class so much.
Thank you 07A02! you're a real life-saver.

Wesley came to JJ today! XD
HAHA.
actually he still looks the same to me.
we didnt get to talk much, aw, duno when I'll see him again.

someone told me quit.
im considering. because of.. personal reasons?
I'm very tired of arguing with the wrong people.
People I shouldnt even be speaking against.
My dilemna is quite stupid.
And most people wont understand.
but that's okay.
'Cos even I myself have no idea wad im doing la.

i need to study.
i miss that someone already.





I think you know what you're doing.
And I'm really proud of you.
Do you plan to keep it this way?
Because everyth has changed.
And it really seems like its been foreversince that day.

OH. MY. FISH.
I just heard from my mum.
I'VE GOTTEN THE O'LEVEL OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT AWARD!!!!!!
for Eng Lit and English.
omgomgomgomgomgomg.
i cannot totally believe this is happening.
i never actually thought i would get it at all.
this is like . . WHOOSH. it totally made my day.
muaahhhs to letter.

Hm.
On a much serious'er tone.
I've been pretty stressed up. HAHA.
My dad is expecting As for my j1 year.
Not that I'm not expecting it of myself, but to hear it, that 'A', it just seems so elusive.
Can I do it?
Shiat. Really hate it when I doubt myself because Im 101% sure that I can do this.
Alright!

The vetting of the house rally speech today was horrendous. For me at least.
That is the worse worse worst presentation that I have ever done.
Oh man. Felt so dolorous afterwards because this is not wad I can do!
I admit. Im nervous. To the point of freaking out.
But I've done speech before, I've done plays before, even acted a crazy woman on stage before.
Alright girl, keep your nerves together. Nobody wants to see them!

Oh yes.
I have to study soon. HAHA. mugmugmug.
Juen Keat and I have smth in common ; we both want a scholarship! XD
All to best to all the other council applicants out there!
:D







I miss Siyuan and Wesley a lot a lot a lot.
I miss Serene, Fanndly, YunTing, YuTing, Esther, YiRong and my 7seven girlfriends LOADS.
I miss og2.
I miss first 3 mths 07a02.
I miss O1.
HAHA.
small secret to share.
whenever tonight or our orientation song plays, I cry.
BUCKETS.
I remember those memories. Those stupid fun times we had. The crazy moments. The smiles on each and every one of your faces. The way Siyuan insults you with that soft voice of hers. Fanndly's insane cackle. Wesley's tall stature and his blur smile and the way he drones on. Serene's prefect enunciation and little grin. Yunting's mad antics. Esther's quiet reasoning.
I miss them all.
It's not the same anymore.
I curse my naivete to expect things to go the way I want them too when I'm back in JJ.
When I don't see your faces anymore, that little hope dies.
How could I have been so naive, to think that it will be the same?
How could it be?
Time really flies.
So short yet forever lasting.


I love you guys and from the bottom of my heart, I say, I really do.
May God bless you and guide you on your path to wherever it takes you, all of you.