i miss my cousin.
i really really miss her.
my mum told me about her.
her plight that is.
she may never come back to s'pore.
i cried.
i just simply broke down.
becos i never realised how i really treasured her.
even thro we rarely met.
and she was busy with her work and all that.
i still treasured the times we had.
i want her back !
it seems so long that i have even talked to her.
i prayed to god, please let the both of them be alright again.
i want everything back.
i want my childhood back.
the happy times and innocent days.
i don't want anything to change.
i don't want to grow up so fast.
so realise the people around me are slowly fading away.
i want her to stay.
i'm sorry, i'm really sorry i never tried say 'how are you today?'
or just a call to ask how she was.
i'm sorry i'm so stupid to have lost another person around me.
i'm sorry i dont have the power to bring you back.
to make everything right again.
i cant do anything.
to bring you back.

because you are already gone.

i feel lost.
like a child wandering around in tears, finding my way, trying to fit back the pieces that i lost.
those broken, unmendable pieces.

damn.
i reallie regret taking piano in the first place.
haiish.
i'm so gonna fail this exam.

arghh.
somebody help me get out of this mindset.

spent about 70 bucks today.


had another one of my mood swings again.
haha, don't mind me pple.
bought a really nice new pencilcase.
uh huh, and it's biggie so it can finally store all my pens.
lolx.
even so, it seems to be overflooding.
><"
result of having too many stationary.


am studying.

damnit.
i quarrelled with my dad over my mum.
fcuk man.
why cant i keep my damn mouth shut?
she was accusing me of some stupid piano thing.
cos my exam is next mon and i haven't tried out e piano yet.
den dad was like PROTECTING her.
what wonderful parents, quarreling two against one.
hurmph.


afterwards
my dad was like 'let's go running. do some exercise.'
i was like 'NO! I DON'T WANT TO!' and then i stomped off.
rude ne? >< i really cant control my tantrums.
i think i seriously hurt his feelings.
-guilty look-
*s0bs. i hate arguing.

another totally pointless post.
note: i hate fillers!
haiish.
not even naruto can comfort me now.
=/


off to do some useful studying.

am listening to the prime minister crap right now.
[myMother-shouting-]:*ahem* what are you typing, Cherie!!??
sorry, i mean, he's talking on tv. =b
i like to listen to such ramblings.
they're nice.
i am such a good citizen. -grins-


i had a really WEIRD mood swing today.
uh huh.
played with the paints with my sis.
acted all nice and goody with her and kept on laughing.
even SHE found it weird.
its not me.
obviously, it's a mood swing.
straight after these kind of mood swings,
i go into permanant bad mood.
as in for the rest of the day.
bah.


fought with my mum,
snapped at her for the triviest things.
argued my head off about allowance.
stated my rights on when or not i want to do homework.
and reminded my mum that i wasnt the one who wanted e piano exam.
which of course, sparked off another 'world war'.
which ended with her being really abnormally nice to me.
dad called me a spitfire.
whatever.


i was forum-ing and arguing with pple on whether sasuke is a jerk or not.
duh. he so IS NOT.
ok, stupid. i should be revising.
ending this pointless blog entry now.
tata.

FREAKING OUT !!!
EXAMS are coming in less than two months !
AHHHH!
i.have.not.prepared.for.anyth !
great. fantastic. -scrowls-
i hate myself !!


study, study, study !
i cant slack no more !

tired.exhuasted.bummedout.fallingapart.
damnit man.
why do i get this stupid feeling wen i saw tt*?
i get this angry, wanna-slap kinda feeling.
damnit.
wish he'd jus walk out of my life.
f***.


got tuition.
homework totally scuks.
exams! arghx!

WOOT !! hey pple !!
i'm back from sec 3 camp !!
AHHHHHH !
it was fun, sticky, dirty, cool and everyth else you can think ABOUT.
nineteen yeah !!!
althro we screwed upp alot. ((:
still, we rawked, yep?
hehehe.
made new friends, conquered fears and all tt.
it's still GREAT to be home thro.
i love having clean showers and a bed again .
and no more q-ing for ANYTH !!!!
hi-yah ! *punchs fist in air*


i missed him like hell.
green-eyed monster me.
><" i'm bad. okok. whatever.

exams a-coming !!!
time to put in e effort !


[[ . you know i can't smile without you
i can't smile without you
i cant laugh and i cant sing
i'm finding it hard to do anything
you see, i feel sad when you're sad
i feel glad when you're glad
if you only knew what i'm going through
i just can't smile without you (: . ]]

stupid comp.
almost died on me.
i almost died of a heart attack.
AHH !
stop scaring me like that !
damnit.


yeahh.
watched naruto 146.
okiie. so this episode was better.
something abt orochimaru at last.
hahaha.
i miss sasuke already !!
lolx.
but please, please, please,
follow the manga !!
><"
i wanna see more action.
hahas.


mum is scary.

so pissed off sia.
cant believe it.
felt so disappointed too.
in her.


aiyah.
wadever den.
muz not give up !!!
esp for my dreams and faiths.
yeahh cherie !!
of course,
i won't forget that my family is always there for me.
thanks dad !
iLOVEya all ! ((:


believe in e faith.

national day eve !
yeahh man.
monica's coming to my house tomorrow.
my parents aren't that happy about it.
cos . . they want me to study !!!
><"

sooo.
my sis wrote the f-word on her msn nick.
my dad found out.
wad an uproar it was.
-.-
he was really mad at her.
mum was worse, NAGGING all the way.
-shrugs-
thats just her.


mum said i'm too westernized.
really . . ?
thats great. hahaha.
sometimes i tink i'm too cheena-ized.
LOL!
wadever.


i NEED $$.
i NEED naruto !
i NEED to STUDY !!
i NEED to focus !!!
i NEED motivation !!!!
i WANT a laptop of my own !!!!!
yeah. the last one's a want not a need.
cos i already have a com of my own.
surprisingly, it works today.
lalala.



watched charlie and the chocolate factory today.
hahaha.
so nice sia !
you guys muz really go catch it. ((:
yeah.


live life to the fullest.
uh huh. *nods*

i've been writing lately.
like crazy-only-to-myself kinda writing.
i'm writing novels.
some never get finished.
sadly. but i'm aiming to finish this one.
to add to my collection.
hahaa.


"He that writes to himself writes to an eternal public."
- got it from here.


its true that i write only to myself.
but thru me and the people arnd me,
everyone gets to know what i'm writing about.
if you listen hard enough.
(;

i'm definately PISSED OFF right now.
fcuking freaking goddamn com.
i mean mine.
THIS IS the public family one.
damnit.
*death glare towards sister.
good la.
someone got LAPTOP la.
-snorts-
DAMNIT !!!
arhhhhhh!
so frustrated right now.
dont come near me.


fine, i'm childish.
and you're not huh?
i like to scream and shout and get my way.
you cant do anyth about that.
too bad.


superb ANGRY + frustration = uber-spoilt-brat-symdrone.

hmms.
my other com got probs.
virius i tink.
><
sobbs.
so i`m only gonna use tt one to dl stuff.
ehhs.
so i dun infect e other comps.
argghh.
viriuses totally scuk my world.


boo.
g-seed destiny RAWKS.
shinn is cute !!!
hahaha.
but i still LOVE athrun more.
and my sasuke BEST.
(;


i'm happy today.

hieees. haiish.
being scared to death now by one person.
idiotic sia.
tell me wad supernatural thingys.
*arbish*
tsk.
childish.
that weilang la.
wah liaos.


hmms.
got a couple of homework WAYY overdue tat i`m doing now.
shiit.
i`m gonna sooo get scolded.
its all chinese btw.
hahaha.
ehhs.
peng bo kinda fierce you noe?


DAD and MUM ganged up to stop me from using bit torrent anymore.
sobbbs.
means cannot dl my gundam seed destiny le !!!
-cries out loud-
why why why muz be such things called viriuses?
i hate you all ! (viriuses i mean)
for ruining my life !
LOL!
haiishh.
i will miss you bit torrent.
and mourn you in silence.
><


LOL!
exaggerating.
naruto rawks my world !!!
teehee.
gundam seed destiny does too.
three cheers for anime !